Magical Ouran Memories: Prompt Me
by ImmemorialMemory
Summary: Harry Potter and Ouran High Host Club crossover one/two/three-shot stories from me and readers. Enjoy!
1. Little Thunder

**A/N:** Welcome to my new story where I shall dump all my Ouran/HP feels. Feel free to give me ideas and plots as to enrich my plot bunnies. Mwahaha! First stop is a Tamaki/Harry fest. :)

**Disclaimer:** I thank Rowling and Bisco for creating such wonderful stories. I own not the story, nor the characters. I'm playing with them though and whatever pace they go is mine. ;)

"Talking"  
_'Thoughts'_

**Setting:** HP/Ouran, post-Hogwarts, end-bit of Ouran anime  
**Pairing:** Tamaki/Harry  
**Title:** Little Thunder  
**Part:** 1/?  
**Warnings:** AU, of course

* * *

"Gabrielle."

A soft voice interrupted the duo by the piano; a tense young man with blonde hair and bright purple eyes, and a woman whose arms were wrapped around his back. She stiffened upon hearing the voice and withdrew her embrace, both of them turning to face the newcomer.

"Harry."

Despite the situation, Tamaki gaped. The man was lithe and willowy, effeminate, not in the same way as Haruhi's father Ranka, whose body would instantly give himself away as a man if he didn't dress as a woman, but the genuine 'you-could be-mistaken-for-a-girl-if-not-for-your-clothes-and-Adam's-apple' kind of effeminate.

Harry gave a sigh and moved closer, and Tamaki found himself staring. He moved with elegance, almost gliding, and Tamaki's eyes roved the soft-looking alabaster skin, the small hand that pinched a smooth nose while the other hand went to tug on silky shoulder-length black hair in annoyance. He could distinctly make out the silver outline of a lightning-shaped scar on the unmarred forehead, giving him a more mysterious feel.

But what caught the most of his attention were his eyes. Tamaki didn't much care for gems, outside of waxing lyrical sonnets to some of their customers to compare the brilliance of diamonds and pearls to the swooning girls.

But now he found himself immeasurably fond of emeralds.

* * *

Éclair Tonnerre, also known as Gabrielle Delacour, gave a catty smile as she watched her would-be fiancé turn into a steaming tomato in front of her big brother Harry, his eyes almost glazed as he drank in the sight.

_'__Well, well… This is a surprise.'_

"Do you know how much trouble you're in, young lady?" Harry said in English, knowing that most of the students of Ouran were multilingual. It was rude to talk when others didn't understand, so it was a relief that the half-French boy who Gabrielle was molesting earlier seemed to follow.

Éclair pouted as she faced her self-appointed guardian, twirling a strand of hair. "I didn't mean it. And I go by Éclair."

Harry snorted, waving away the new name. "Of course you didn't. You didn't mean to leave everyone worried, lead us all into a wild goose chase, and get yourself into trouble by tying yourself down to a teenager."

"I am a teenager!" she said in petulance. Say what you want, but she was still young! She had plenty of reasons to look for a perfect husband. She ignored the tiny voice in her head that told her that she tracked said potential husband like a crazed stalker and threatened him with matrimonial chains.

Much like Ginny Weasley. Who she heard was doing quite well at St. Mungo's psych ward.

Harry wasn't listening. "And I suppose this is the unfortunate young man you trapped?"

Suddenly Tamaki found himself pinned by two stares, one mischievous and one gorgeous- no, sympathetic.

"I'm sorry for not introducing myself earlier. Hadrian James Potter-Black, although you may just call me Harry." he said, reaching out to shake Tamaki's hand in a firm grip.

Éclair almost cackled (almost, since ladies didn't cackle) as Tamaki turned into a bumbling stuttering mess and… was that steam coming out of his ears? She thought that only happened in anime.

"Su-Su-Suoh…"

"Suoh Tamaki-chan, Harry-nii." Éclair drawled, saving the stuttering blonde.

Harry gave her a look, which she immediately translated to, '_you're loving this, aren't you_?'.

She replied with an imperious smirk.

"Nice to meet you Suoh-san. I believe I had the pleasure of meeting your father already." Harry said, wondering if he was feeling feverish. He was turning quite red. He was a bit alarmed when Tamaki made a funny noise and backed away but he chalked it up to Gabrielle scaring the daylights out of another one of her boyfriends. "Alright, enough with the tantrum, Gabrielle. Your parents are worried-"

"Uh... who?"

Tamaki's face flamed up again the moment Harry's gaze turned to him, although Éclair gleefully noted that the blonde darling was trying his best to distract himself by looking at her. She gave him a winning smile and giggled when he turned sort of green.

She did sort-of acted like a man-eater. Wait till Fleur got a hold of this!

"Yes. I suppose I better explain. And you as well Gabrielle."

"Do I have to?"

"You sound like a whiny child, you know?"

"Do not."

"I'm not falling for that."

Éclair huffed.

A loud bang interrupted them and with a dramatic flair of doors, a bunch of teenagers wearing Medieval get-ups that were as colorful as Dumbledore's robes went flying through the room, with a bellow of "MILORD!".

Vaguely, Harry noted the unfortunate butler that was being beaten up by a blonde toddler with a pink bunny and wondered how he got himself in this mess.

* * *

"Guys!" Tamaki scrambled away from the she-demon and the emerald-eyed beauty… no, the willowy angel… no, the gorgeous black-haired… NO, NO, NO!

Why was he feeling this way?

Tamaki was a lover of beauty. He found beauty in everything, his _maman_ teaching him that there was something worth noticing in everything that had been created and that _something_ should be shown for the whole world to see. Even the things that are unassuming at first can turn into a well-polished diamond. Just look at his daughter Haruhi. He even appreciated the male physique, of course he did, otherwise the Host Club wouldn't be so successful in the first place…

But this was the first time he reacted to another male this way.

"Milord!" Kaoru exclaimed, latching his arms with his twins to make a crude landing pad of sorts for Tamaki to fall on.

"Tama-chan, you're okay!" Hani beamed, stretching his neck.

"Woah! Oi, stupid lord you're burning up!" Hikaru complained. "What's with that face?"

"Help me…" he moaned. Why on earth was he, the Princely Type of the Ouran Host Club, known for being able to charm any girl, turned into this? An awkward, blushing jumble of emotions?

Hikaru and Kaoru blinked at their sniffling burden.

"Woah…" the twins said in unison.

"I know that we had to rescue him-"

"-yeah. But when we came here, heroically too-"

"-and we even risked the Chairman and that scary grandma-"

"-but I never thought that-"

"-milord could actually be this-"

"PATHETIC." they declared.

Harry laughed, eyes widening as he heard lightning rumble in the background, like some sort of verdict. "Bloody hell, Gab. What horrors did you do on that sorry sod?"

Éclair rolled her eyes. It wasn't her. Harry was as clueless as ever. He didn't know what effect he had on people. After those Deathly Hallows (family secret) clung to him like a leech, those three legendary items turned him into a beauty that any veela would envy.

Harry said Death was a bastard. She had no idea what that meant. Still he mostly ignored that his fangirls (and fanboys) tripled and began mobbing him in droves, insisting that his fame would die down.

Oh, my sweet summer child.*

_'Case in fact.'_ Éclair thought, as the Hosts finally noticed the laughing Harry and more than one turned bright red.

"Uh… so who're you?" one of the twins said tentatively, dropping Tamaki to the ground with a loud thud, making some sort of human shield around him.

Kyouya coughed and caught Éclair's eye. "Miss Tonnerre, I would like to discuss the assets-"

Harry silenced him with a hand. The Hosts were astonished. Someone dared to shut up Dark Lord Kyouya!

"May we please discuss this in a more pleasant setting?" Harry asked, all smiles.

* * *

"So your name's not really Éclair?!" twin shouts echoed through the Third Music Room. Harry was entertained at the sight of the Hitachiin twins. Seems Éclair found herself another set of identical gingers. Maybe it was one of the reasons she didn't want to leave; they reminded her of the Weasley twins. She loved her twin uncles by marriage. Fred and George doted on kids after the war, and that included Gabrielle, even though she turned thirteen and insisted that she didn't need coddling. Didn't stop her from using the family discount in their shops, though.

"_Non_." the witch said with relish, ignoring the hosts' flabbergasted expression. Really, they were all such goofs in private. Only the Ootori with the stick up his ass and the Morinozuka remained calm. Even the cross-dressing female looked panicked.

"And that's not even her hair color." Harry said, pointing at the olive brown curls. Fleur would be aghast the length her sister went to give them the slip. Going so far as to dye her _gorgeous, natural, platinum-blonde tresses._

Fleur's words, not his.

He watched with amusement as the twins raged and created general chaos at the revelation. Really, they were like Gred and Forge 2.0. The world would end if they met the original versions.

He looked at the teenagers huddled around the sitting area. The tiny blonde who did some complicated punches earlier, a stoic giant sitting beside the blonde, a troubled-looking female in a pink dress, and a serious-looking young man with glasses typing away at his Pineapple laptop who glanced at him once in a while.

The only one missing was Suoh Tamaki, who was crouched at the back of the twins' seat, and… Harry raised his brow. _Was he shredding paper?_

"So it was all a set-up?" the tiny 'butler-beating' blonde who was still holding the pink bunny asked calmly. Although he was anything but calm. Harry could sense his aura getting more and more dark, reminding him of the time Colin Creevey had his camera taken by Slytherin bullies. Bones were shattered. No magic used.

The twins shuffled beside the little blonde, joining their glares into one large blob of threatening dark aura.

"No. I believe Gab...er, Éclair has her own reasons for doing so." Harry said, eyeing her. He made his message clear. _Your mess, take care of it._

To his surprise, she accepted the challenge with grace and panache. Her story was slightly true… with exaggerations in between. Harry was pretty sure she left on a bright sunny May afternoon, and not the dark, rainy eve of September. Also, he knew that she had nicked her father's Gringotts card, as Henri still grouched about receiving the large balance every month and she was not 'left to fend off her own' as she was saying. She weaved a sob story of being ignored for a long time without her family really meaning to, and the idiots listening ate it all up, that they were soon bawling their eyes out. Even the stoic giant was misty-eyed. Although judging by the snort from the young man with the Pineapple, not everyone believed it.

_Thank goodness. _Harry thought. _At least someone here has sense._

Gabrielle was a good actress, that much he had to admit. She was taking Theatrical Arts so she had to be, and it was quite impressive that she was able to spin up a story this outrageous without looking stupid. And all without revealing who she was. He supposed that was the reason the guy with glasses looked ticked off.

_'__But really, the girl had a whole corporation at her beck and call and these idiots believed she was homeless? I mean look at her outfit. Worth the salary of twenty office men in three months.' _Harry snorted.

There were holes as large as a crater in her story that made him wonder if these kids had common sense. Truth was, Gabrielle was going through teenage rebellion, snooty rich kid-style. Being the younger child of the French Prime Minister for Magic, she was spoiled while Fleur was given responsibilities which she shouldered admirably. That made Gabrielle a little conscious of her place in the family and began to do things that made her a headache for everyone all around. Little things at first. Until it escalated to her roaming around Europe unsupervised.

Harry had no idea why Henri and Apolline allowed it, even if they tagged a Tracking Charm on her. Still, it wasn't his place to say. Maybe it was one of those things rich people do to their children. He hadn't been rich as a kid, with his inheritance being restricted so he shut his mouth. If it was alright to the Delacours to let their under-aged daughter trek around the continent then he wouldn't meddle.

She usually stayed at one of the Delacour's vacation homes and guest houses so they could keep an eye on her. Then one day, he was greeted to the sight of French veelas running around like headless chickens because their youngest had apparently bailed and was not felt anywhere in Europe for months.

So imagine Harry's surprise when Anne-Sophie, the Delacour's governess hinted that she may be headed to Japan to trap her unsuspecting half-Japanese son in marriage.

It sounded crazy enough for Gabrielle to do. And so here he was, in a room filled with handsome young men who were more comparable to bawling hormonal women.

"How did you find me, exactly?" Éclair muttered, watching the drama in front of her with mild interest.

"Your governess was very accommodating." Harry murmured as Éclair cursed in French. "Not to mention… Tonnerre. Really?"

The sheepish grin she gave him reminded him of the times when she was younger. And harmless. Where had those times go?

"Ah, well. It reminded me of before."

"When you had that crush on me?" Harry ducked as she slapped him lightly, laughing.

"Easy there, little thunder."

"I hate you." she muttered, embarrassed.

Eclair, as a little Gabrielle, had developed a devoted sort of admiration for the Boy-Who-Lived during the Tri-Wizard Tournament, going so far as to call herself his 'thunder' since he already had a lightning bolt scar. According to her eight-year old logic, they were a pair that should always be together as 'thunder' always followed 'lightning'. It had been cute for everyone involved. Mortifying for the adult Eclair.

"Eclair-chan!" Ah, the Suoh blonde was up. Harry watched as he clutched Gabrielle's hand, his eyes dewy, and… where did those sparkles come from?

"Your story has deeply pierced _mon coeur_! I ask for forgiveness for my ungentlemanly ways and vow to be your knight in shining armor, to be the Arthur to your Guinevere, to be the Paris to your Helen-"

"You do realize Guinevere ditched Arthur? And Paris and Helen caused a war." Harry said mildly. To his interest, Tamaki gave an 'eep' sound and turned bright red again and scuttled away, seemingly struck dumb. Really, was he ill?

The twins, much to Eclair's amusement, finally caught up to whatever Suoh was feeling and gave each other devilish grins. They caught her eye and gave her a polite nod and a small smirk. They knew that she was in on it, but wasn't willing to work with her.

Harry noticed that Ootori (Gabrielle whispered his surname) finally shut his laptop, which made all conversation stop. He steadied his glasses and gave Harry and Gabrielle a polite yet chilling stare.

"It seems I am unable to get any other information on the Tonnerre Group of Companies-" Ah, so he was looking at their backgrounds. Pretty bold to do it in front of them. "Except for the fact that the name does not exist till last year."

He looked irritated that he only stumbled on that tidbit today.

"So you were using that name all year long?" Harry asked Gabrielle. "What, did you just remove the Delacour symbol all over your inheritance and just fancied yourself another one?"

"Delacour?" Tamaki piped up from his pile of stripped papers, looking everywhere but Harry's. "I know that surname."

"Same here." One of the twins drawled.

"I am also familiar with the Delacour family." Ootori said, with the little blonde and the giant nodding along.

"What's the Delacour?" the female in pink was the only one who looked clueless.

"The Delacours," Harry began for her sake. "are a family originating from France. They are descendants of the former royal house and currently have a great influence over most businesses involving art, beauty, music and cosmetics, and recently, the export and import of rare medicinal plants and herbs."

The girl nodded vaguely, although Harry doubted that she was interested. Anyway…

"So you are related to the Delcaours?"

"I _am_ a Delacour." Éclair said, enjoying their expressions. "Gabrielle Faline Delacour to be exact."

"So you are a princess who was not appreciated for who you were!" Tamaki was on his element again.

_'He's really good at getting back on his feet.'_ Harry thought, grinning at the uncomfortable look on Gabrielle's face.

"Sure let's go with that." she said flatly.

"We still haven't heard your name." Ootori said, pointedly looking at Harry.

"Oh…" Tamaki's voice turned timid. "Wasn't it um… Potter-Black Harry-san?"

Harry smirked. The shocked look on Ootori's face was probably one in a million, based on how the others were gaping at his expression.

"Yes, it's very nice to meet you all. Please call me Harry."

* * *

**A/N:** So yes, first stop. I probably focused to much on Gabrielle/Eclair and got a bit of wording wrong but I'm really just returning to the hang of things and just stretching my writing. If you must notice, whenever it is Harry who is the focal point, I address her as Gabrielle but call her Eclair in her POV and in general. I'll probably call her Gabrielle throughout the whole story so this was just a one time thing.

So! Tell me what you think and let's make nice with each other. Hopefully no flames, but correct me as gently as possible. Thanks for the courtesy. I'll update as soon as I can.

*GoT, yes. It's from _that_ series. It ain't mine either, just borrowing the line.

~Review~


	2. Kitten and Rabbit

**A/N:** M'kay, this one was a request by my sister, Zoey (love you~) who, for some reason, is a fan of this bizarre pairing. I tried to make the ages as near as possible, so as not to be accused as a pedo. XD

**Disclaimer:** I thank Rowling and Bisco for creating such wonderful stories. I own not the story, nor the characters. I'm playing with them though and whatever pace they go is mine. ;)

I also do not own any of the dialogues that you may find in this chapter that is in the manga/anime/book. I'm just including them to make it more realistic, but it isn't mine.

"Talking"  
_'Thoughts'_

**Setting:** HP/Ouran, post-Hogwarts, Ouran anime episode 11 "Big Brother is a Prince!"  
**Pairing:** Hani/Kirimi (fem!Harry)  
**Title:** Kitten and Rabbit  
**Part:** 1/?  
**Warnings:** AU, of course. Reincarnated fem!Harry, Older, smarter Kirimi, maybe OOC Hani-senpai.

* * *

"Hello?"

The lively chirp made the Host Club blink in surprise. They were dressed in full police regalia (although Haruhi didn't want to wear the inmate uniform) but instead of the usual screaming girls stampeding towards the doors, it was a small girl dressed in the standard Ouran elementary school uniform that poked her head inside.

She was quite adorable, perhaps nine or ten years old, long blonde hair tied in two pigtails, and impossibly large sapphire eyes looking around in glee. Tamaki mentally 'awwwed' at the sight.

Nobody noticed the other blonde in the room freeze at the sight of her. Nobody except his stoic cousin.

"Oya, it's just a little girl." Hikaru said, fixing his policeman lapel.

"Still, what is an elementary student doing here at our grounds?" Kyouya mused, staring at the girl's baby blues.

"Little kitty cat, where did you come from?" Tamaki asked her indulgently.

"Reverse harem!"

They froze.

"It's a reverse harem in here!" she pointed at them gleefully.

Silence. Then…

"Mah, it looks like I still have some beach water stuck behind my ears." Tamaki chuckled as he tapped his ear to the side, as if getting rid of whatever was making his hearing less than perfect.

"Ahahaha! That's right, Inspector General, sir…" Hikaru laughed.

Kaoru joined his twin, twisting a finger in his ear. "There must be something wrong with our ears if we just heard a little girl say reverse harem!"

Said little girl blinked. Then stared at Haruhi.

"Cross-dresser."

Thunder rumbled.

"There's a cross-dresser in here!" the little blonde squealed again, this time vibrating in excitement.

"Someone grab her!"

"Haruhi's secret is out!"

"Haha, no no, little kitty. See this?" Tamaki said fretfully, grabbing Haruhi and shoving her in front of the little blonde, the twins still panicking at the background. Kyouya and the two older hosts kept a safe distance from their craziness. "This is the epitome of manliness! A man! A very manly man."

The girl was unfazed. "Woman."

Tamaki was struck by lightning.

"Woman." she repeated slowly, hands on her hips, staring at the fainting Tamaki as if he was obtuse. "She's a girl."

Cue chaotic pandemonium by the twins.

"Hey, I don't mind being outed by her. She's just a kid." Haruhi said, kneeling in front of the adorable child, smiling. She smiled back brightly, showing pearly whites. She was very cute, and her Western features was something rare in Japan.

Tamaki-senpai didn't count. She had to see his face every day.

"And yet, we do mind." Kyouya said pleasantly, a looming dark aura seeping out of his frame as he stared at their intruder. "You still have your debt to consider. As well as the reputation of the club once this child ever reveals that your gender."

It would be a mess. He had no way to silence a child with bribes or threats, especially one as young as her. If she had been male or perhaps older then they could negotiate but from his experience, girls this young could never keep a secret.

"Kyouya-senpai!" Haruhi, seeing the thoughtful glint in Kyouya's eyes, was ready to protest at whatever he was thinking. But someone beat her to it.

"Kyouya."

Everyone froze.

That one word brought chills to their spines.

Haruhi looked up, and felt her blood run cold.

She had seen him beat-up trained and armed soldiers bare-handed, with surprising ease. She saw those same beaten soldiers prostrate themselves towards him in deference, a thousand apologies running through their mouths for even daring to attack him. She even remembered her disbelief upon learning he was the best in his field of fighting.

But she had seen him do all these with a loveable and protective expression on his face. That was him after all. The sweet, cake-loving, loli-shota of the Host Club.

She had never seen Hani-senpai like this.

Honey-brown eyes that were usually filled with cheer and near-gullible innocence was now narrowed in warning and alight with something that would render the bravest man immobile. His expression was closed-off, as if daring anyone to challenge him, and his posture was stiff and positioned to pounce at any second, like a crouching tiger. He was lightly holding his pink bunny at his side but no one doubted that he couldn't use it as a weapon and at this moment, Haruhi believed it could even be deadlier than a katana.

No one moved. A quick glance made Haruhi realize that the other hosts were also terrified, unmoving. A bead of sweat trailed through Kyouya-senpai's forehead.

"Mistukuni."

Bless Mori-senpai.

But everyone stiffened when all that did was made the atmosphere tenser. Thicker. It was suffocating and everyone's nerves were shot, in any moment someone was going to _geteatengetbeatenupbythisalphapredator_-

"I won't tell."

Something snapped.

Haruhi almost collapsed when the tense air disappeared. The twins fell on top of each other, almost dogpiling above Tamaki who yelled indignantly at being used as a mattress. Kyouya fidgeted, scowling at the twins and Tamaki before returning to his black journal, scribbling.

The world was right again.

Sighing in relief, she turned to their tiny savior.

"Can keep a secret." the little girl said to her, placing a finger on her lips, the universal sign of keeping silent. "Right, glasses-man?"

Kyouya, who was still grasping at the fact that Hani-senpai's berserker button was almost triggered, nodded vaguely. It wasn't like he could do anything at that point.

"Good." she nodded, turning to Hani-senpai. "That okay?"

For a moment, Kyouya swore her blue eyes flashed green.

Hani-senpai blinked, threatening aura gone, then beamed at her. "Alright then."

They all blanched as Hani-senpai turned a complete one-eighty and tugged on Mori-senpai's sleeve, whining for strawberry cake, giving one last wave at the little girl before disappearing to the other room.

Silence.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" the twins shrieked, clutching each other.

"_That_ was AB Hani-senpai." Tamaki said, his mood akin to one who was looking at someone's deathbed. He had grabbed the closest thing he could cuddle, which turned out to be the little girl who started all their troubles today.

The twins shivered. They have heard of AB Hani-senpai but never experienced it first-hand!

"AB Hani-senpai?" Haruhi slowly pronounced. "What is that?"

"Shush. Do you hear something?" Kyouya said.

_"__Kirimi…"_

"Eh? What was that?"

_"__Kirimi…"_

"Nii-san!" the blonde girl said and squirmed at Tamaki's arms, pointing at a gloomy-looking door with a skull-like doorknob that appeared out of nowhere.

"Who's she calling nii-san?"

"Woah, didn't know we had that door."

"Had it been there all this time?"

The ominous creak made their hairs stand up on end. Just as they were about to flee in fright, a teenager in an Ouran high school uniform entered the room.

"Kirimi."

"Nii-san!"

The finally-named Kirimi elbowed Tamaki away, making him wheeze, and sprinted into the arms of the newcomer.

"How many blondes are in this school?" Haruhi muttered.

"Not as rare as you think, but those features of his are unusual." Kyouya said.

Kirimi's nii-san had the same blonde hair and blue eyes. Like his sister, he was very good-looking, on par with any of the Hosts. He could have even been Tamaki's doppelganger if not for the few notable differences, like his shoulder-length hair, slighter build, and delicate-looking cheekbones.

"Oooh! Milord, there's another princely type!"

"And he's got a sister for that 'loving gesture' angle!"

"Girls would love a guy that dote on younger siblings!"

"We should kick Milord out instead!"

"Haha! That's right!"

Tamaki immediately went into what Kyouya coined as his D&amp;D mode (despair and denial), before marching up to the other blonde and snatching the girl away. Which was impressive, Kyouya noted, since the girl had a tight grip on her brother's clothes.

"I shall not be defeated by a second-rate pretender who steals the hearts of maidens by pretending to care for his sister! Kirimi-chan would be better off with a brother like me!"

"Then won't you be the one 'stealing the hearts of maidens by pretending to care for his sister' this time?" the twins chorused.

"And she's not even your sister." Haruhi said.

"Haha, Milord is evil! Exorcise him!"

"Get a Buddhist! We need a ritual to ward him off!"

"You cretins! How dare you imply that I am something impure! You're the devils! Demons, away!"

The indignant Host Club king dropped an amused Kirimi as he went to chase the twins around the room. She didn't notice her brother trying to inch towards her, dangerously close to the light.

"Young master."

"You forgot your cloak."

One instant makeover later, they gaped as the princely blonde turned into someone they unfortunately knew very well.

"NEKOZAWA-SENPAI?!"

"What the actual hell?!"

"And where did the butler and maid come from?" Haruhi said. She was having a migraine. People were extra crazy today.

"Stranger things have happened." Kyouya said.

"We are responsible for locating and bringing Kirimi ojou-sama home." the bald butler said, bowing.

"Nii-san, let's go home." Kirimi tugged on her brother's sleeve, not even bothered by the creepy aura her brother was emitting, nor the hand-puppet he was waving around.

"Uhh… why the actual fuck is Nekozawa-senpai wearing that cloak and wig?" Hikaru said.

"Is he afraid of getting mobbed? 'Cause he does look like Milord." Kaoru added his two cents.

Before anyone could answer, Mori-senpai came back and with him-

"Oh, is that you Ume-chan?" everyone tensed when Hani sprinted back into the room unannounced, but calmed down when they saw him clutching a plate filled with cake. Nothing lifted his mood better than cake and his Usa-chan. Their lives were safe.

"Mitsukuni-san." the cloaked figure nodded back. "Thank you for looking after Kirimi today. It was much appreciated."

The twins quirked a brow. First-name basis?

The expression on Hani-senpai's face was something that Kyouya had never seen before. It was almost rueful, indulgent. "It was okay! She just made her way here, neh Kiri-chan?"

"Yep." Kirimi said innocently. "Got lost."

"Of course you did." Hani-senpai said. "Be careful next time, okay?"

"I will."

"Young master and mistress. It is time to leave." the gothic maid said.

"M'kay. Bye, bye!" Kirimi waved. Everyone waved back reluctantly.

"I'll make sure to include you in my black prayers this evening as thanks. I shall drop by some cursed items by this week as well." Nekozawa said before fluttering his cloak.

"Noooo! Stay far away! That's all the thanks we need!" Tamaki wailed, tears pouring out of his eyes.

The click of the door made way to an awkward silence.

"So, uh… Hani-senpai?"

"Hmm?"

"How exactly do you know Nekozawa-senpai?"

* * *

**A/N:** Aaand, cut! This was shorter than I wanted it to be but I had to! There were so many things happening and my plot bunny went crazy, gnawing at my cerebrum. So yes, this is an odd pairing but my sister kept on shoving the idea on my head until I had mapped out a possible scenario as to how (and why) this pairing shall exist. And this is fan fiction! Anything goes!

And to those miserable people who say that their ages are making it creepy, remember that nothing is happening yet so calm your pants down. Hani, Mori and Nekozawa are seventeen in this story, I follow the anime. I shall update this one within the week, only because I want it done. Later!

~Review!~


	3. Mayhem and Mischief

**A/N:** Hello, hello! This is a one-shot that I couldn't get out of my head so I finished this in time. I know I promised another chapter of 'Kitten and Rabbit' but I'm working on it right now so expect in within the week.

**Disclaimer:** I thank Rowling and Bisco for creating such wonderful stories. I own not the story, nor the characters. I'm playing with them though and whatever pace they go is mine. ;)

"Talking"  
_'Thoughts'_

**Setting:** HP/Ouran, post-Hogwarts, Ouran Culture Festival Manga Chapter  
**Pairing:** Gen (surprise)  
**Title:** Mayhem and Mischief  
**Part:** 1/1  
**Warnings:** AU, of course. Hitachiin twins-centric

* * *

There was no doubt that the Hitachiin twins were the Prankster Kings of Ouran. With their auburn hair and devilishly good looks, they were the source of all untold chaos in the school. Anyone that dared defy them or say so otherwise were given the full humiliating treatment for a month, two weeks if they were feeling merciful. A month of itching powder, smoke bombs, whoopee cushions, fake snakes, the list went on and on. Of course, it wouldn't have been that bad since normally it would only happen in school.

But the thing was, it didn't.

Hamaguchi Kotarou found a decapitated hand under his table during a formal dinner. It turned out to be fake but the piss in his pants was enough to make his potential fiancée break their engagement in disgust. Of course it wasn't a coincidence that earlier this week he'd just called the Hitachiin twins '_a pair of incestuous despicable human beings who would never find romance in any decent person_', but no one was able to trace it back to them. He had to apologize in a fit of tears after the eighth prank set his pants on fire in front of another girl.

It was the same with the snotty Ranmaru Aya, who found her prized poodle dyed a ghastly shade of green during a pet fashion show in Paris. Terumi Daiki had a bad case of diarrhea during his trip to Switzerland. Kobayashi Haru had a farting noise follow him all throughout his vacation in Hawaii.

All of them had committed some sort of grievance against the Host Club or the twins. All of them experienced a daily dose of creative pranks that would have impressed them, had they not been the target. And all of them knew that the Hitachiin twins were the culprit, despite the fact that no one could prove it. Why you ask? Because their torture only stopped when they made proper apologies.

"How were you able to hire a pair of trannies to follow Watanabe-san on his skiing trip?" Tamaki asked, goggling at the twins.

Watanabe had insulted Kyouya just last week, stating how he would never be anything by following around in his father's coattails. The retaliation from the twins became some sort of art form for everybody and a source of weird entertainment for the students. Renge was even collecting bets on the next wave of pranks.

Of course, Kyouya couldn't let the insult on his person slide, and dished out his own brand of revenge in secret. But overall, he was contented to let the twins handle it.

"We didn't hire them." Hikaru said, looking up from where they were entertaining girls.

"Really." Kyouya deadpanned.

"Really, really." Kaoru nodded, his pirate hat (they were cosplaying) bobbing up and down.

"We do pranks sure, but we won't follow the dude all the way to the Alps just to terrorize him." Hikaru snorted.

"That's overkill." Kaoru piped up.

Kyouya wanted to say that the swamp that had suddenly appeared near the Newspaper Club room (the twins admitted to making it) after they almost ruined Tamaki's reputation was overkill but he kept silent. They were hosting, so perhaps the twins just didn't want to be overheard.

"But I still wanna know how you prank people!" Tamaki whined.

"A magician never tells his secrets, everybody knows that." Hikaru said cheekily.

"Yep. Otherwise everyone would know, Milord." Kaoru added, then winked. "Right girls?"

The girls, in true fangirl nature, squealed in agreement.

Still, to the whole school the message was clear. Leave the twins and the Host Club alone.

It soon became a habit for people to leave some sort of offering at the door of the Third Music Room, like they were some sort of godlings looking down upon mere mortals. Either for apologies, bribes, or just little tokens of thanks to the twins. Of course, this amused the duo and they'd accept the gift-wrapped pocky or tarts with good grace. Consequently, anyone who left the gifts would then experience a bout of good luck that week, whether in love, money, or family. It didn't happen to anyone random, just those that were on speaking terms with the twins and had left a few goodies for them.

It astonished the whole school.

"People say you're like that cat statue commoners use to attract luck." Tamaki said, curling a hand into a paw-like figure and rocking it back and forth.

"It's called a Maneki-neko, senpai." Haruhi said, listening to Minami-hime gush about how Aidou-senpai had asked her out this morning after she left a pie for the twins at the door. Hani-senpai was currently devouring said pie.

"But seriously. Once is a happenstance. Twice is coincidence. This is the twenty-fifth time this year." Kyouya said, jabbing his pen at the direction of the enamored girl still gushing about her senpai. Normally, he'd never believe in luck and all that rot. But it happened far too often for it to be anything but.

"Well, Dad said he always had a weird case of luck." Hikaru said slowly.

"Your father?" Tamaki asked. It was genetic?

"Yep. Normally it bounces between extremely good luck and extremely bad luck though." Kaoru said.

"Never knew it was contagious." they chorused.

* * *

The other Hosts then decided to try their luck with it (pun aside) just out of curiosity. They left little gifts for the twins to find that day. Kyouya handed out the computer game they wanted to play, even if it wasn't supposed to be out in the market for two years. Hani-senpai sent a strawberry shortcake, a little flowery note left on the cake box. Mori got them magazines, those fashion ones that no one knew they read. Tamaki presented them with commoner key chains with a little white dog, Antoinette, hanging as a charm. Even Haruhi tried it and made them a bento each, much to the despair of Tamaki.

Each had been pleased with the results the following week. Kyouya's personal stocks had skyrocketed that week. Hani-senpai was delighted when Chika shoved a Lindeth Howe chocolate cake at him as a present from his field trip to England and proceeded to tell him all about his trip between bites. Mori-senpai had stumbled on a seventeenth century Morinozuka katana that was thought to have been lost in an abandoned shed while looking for Piyo-chan. Tamaki was over the moon when he got to spend a whole day with Haruhi when he got lost in a commoner supermarket. And lastly, Haruhi was pleased when she got a mega discount on seafood from a free scratch card handed to her while doing grocery, even if she had to spend the rest of the day with an overjoyed Tamaki.

"Are you sure you're not aliens?" Tamaki said, poking Hikaru on the cheek.

"Quite sure, Milord." he swatted him away, annoyed. "We're a hundred percent earthlings."

"We can't really explain it but it's just the way it is." Kaoru said.

"I'm just glad this contagious luck of yours only happens once on every person, otherwise we'd be flooded with gifts." Kyouya said. That wouldn't be a really bad thing business-wise, but it was a hassle to deal with all the presents blocking the club room every day. "I think people are getting the hint that you're not some sort of lucky charm. But still, you're now in the list of _the 'Seven Secret Wonders of Ouran_'. "

"Like an urban legend!" Hani-senpai chirped.

The twins just shrugged.

"Watanabe-san came in today, by the way." Kyouya said, propping his glasses one his face securely.

"Did he make some sort of trouble again?" Kaoru said, eyes glinting.

"Cause if he did…" Hikaru said, leaving the statement hanging.

"No, in fact, he came to apologize." Kyouya said, amused at their protective tones. "And to thank you for beating up the thugs that almost mugged him near the school gates two days ago."

"Ooooh! You did, Hika-chan, Kao-chan?" Hani-senpai beamed at them. Mori nodded in approval.

"Hikaru, Kaoru! Such valiant actions! Truly, you are knights of valor, deserving the highest of praises!" Tamaki declared, whipping out a red rose and posing dramatically, those sparkles of his shining brighter than ever.

"Uh, yeah. It wasn't anything special." Kaoru said.

"Just because he's a douche for saying things to Kyouya-senpai doesn't mean he should get beaten up." Hikaru said, yawning.

The other Hosts smiled. Even though they caused extreme chaos and pandemonium in the school (that always led to destruction of property), no one denied that the twins were kind at heart. They never pranked anyone for no reason, and had a weird sense of righteousness in terms of bullying. Their jokes never went too far, and heaven forbid you bully someone in front of them. If anyone insulted the twins or anyone close to them, they pranked the idiots viciously. But after they apologized, they let bygones be bygones. Hamaguchi, Ranmaru, Terumi, and Kobayashi, those people who they pranked after their harsh words were also the first ones who got their 'lucky week' after they returned on speaking terms with the twins.

The host club never pestered the twins about the odd things happening around them. On how they could sometimes be at one place and appear at the other side of the room in a blink of an eye. Or how frogs rained that one time they were fighting about Haruhi and Belzeneef. Or how that swamp appeared out of nowhere. They just chalked it up to one of the weird things about the host club, like the way sparkles and rose petals followed Tamaki wherever he went and how Hani could eat sweets five times his size in one sitting.

Tamaki in particular, was fond of the Hitachiin brothers. He met the twin terrors when they were still in middle school, and he wanted them on the Host Club. They were the only ones whom he asked that didn't give him any sort of trouble. Kyouya, Mori and Hani-senpai had been difficult to convince but the just twins did their odd 'twin communication' thing and smirked at him.

"Sure." the one on the right, he was sure it was Hikaru, said.

"Why not." Kaoru at the left, said.

"Just make sure-"

"-that it's worth our time-"

"-milord." they declared together.

Tamaki's smile was the brightest Kyouya had seen that day.

The twins made frogs rain indoors. They created swamps from thin air. They could appear out of nowhere. But everyone was fond of them, so it was fine.

* * *

Ouran High School Cultural Festival. It was one of the major yearly highlights of the esteemed academy, not only because every student would be doing their best to create and establish an event that would capture attention, but because their parents would also be in attendance.

And that meant every single powerful person in the society world was in attendance.

"It's also a marketing ploy." Kyouya had told Haruhi as they all gathered in the Third Music Room to cancel their daily hosting because of the festival. "Everyone has connections and therefore wants their associates, allies, and even rivals to see their heirs in a good light."

"You make us sound like show dogs, Kyouya-senpai." the twins said, putting up their Antoinette keychains.

"During this event, we might as well be." Kyouya smirked.

So here she was, dressed in a fancy-looking vest, looking lost among the sea of glitter and finery.

"So many rich people." Haruhi murmured, trying to make sure she didn't stare too long at one person. She already counted eight actors and actresses, two high-profile politicians, and twelve businessmen among the parents her classmates introduced to her.

The event they were doing was a bit easy, it had a detective theme so they borrowed one of the European-styled sitting rooms and had casino games to make it harder. Haruhi volunteered to be one of the assistants since she didn't have anything else to do.

"Ah! Haruhi!" Hikaru waved at her. "Himeno-san wants you to assist her!"

"Coming!" she said, making her way to the giggling girl.

"Haruhi!" an arm shot in front of her and pulled.

"What the- Tamaki-senpai?"

"Haha, surprised?" the Host Club king winked. He was wearing a commoner salesman's robe with great relish, which means-

"Our class is doing a commoner's kiosk! Come and see!"

-just as she thought.

"Ooooh, does it have those commoner festival games?" a cheerful voice interrupted.

"Hani-senpai?" she blinked at the sight of Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai in carnivale costumes, the little blonde perched on his cousin's shoulders.

"We were watching a cake store!" Hani beamed.

"Hey Milord, what- and Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai too!" Hikaru said, eyes wide in surprise.

"What are you all doing here?" Kaoru said, wrestling himself from the crowd.

"We got time off." Mori said.

"Same here!" Tamaki beamed.

"Ah, Hikaru, Kaoru, Haruhi!" their class president waved them over. "You can get time out too! We've got enough guests to handle!"

"Kaichou, are you sure?"

"We'll be fine! Just go along with the Host Club and make nice!" he said and disappeared among the crowd.

"Well I guess that means we can roam around together." Haruhi said, watching her classmates move around easily. Everything seems to be handled and she could see Himeno-san halfway through the game, being assisted by someone else.

They made their way around the throng of people as a group, waving here and there and stopping once in a while in greeting whenever they see a familiar face with their parents.

"The only one missing is Kyouya." Tamaki said. "He'd probably be at the Central Saloon."

"Should we go get him?" Haruhi asked.

"Naah, let's go to Milord's event!" Kaoru cheered.

"I wanna duck for apples!"

"Catch a fish too!"

"Toss the ring!"

"Hikaru? Kaoru?"

Everyone turned at the female voice. Haruhi's eyes widened at the familiar-looking face, although feminine. She looked youthfully lovely, slim yet tall, and her hair was styled in a stylish pixie cut that highlighted her face.

"Mom!" the twins raced to the beautiful woman, their eyes delighted.

"Oh, goodness! One at a time." she laughed as she hugged one twin, then the other.

As they exchanged greetings, Haruhi was struck with how much the twins and their mother looked alike. The same hair color, shade of eyes, and bone structure. They smiled the same way, with their foreheads lightly crinkling in amusement. They even laughed alike, filled with mirth and a teasing lilt in it. She was their spitting image.

"Oh, I haven't seen Aunt Yuzuha for a long time!" Hani said, bouncing at Mori's shoulder. "Is their father coming? I've never met Hikaru and Kaoru's papa before."

"Ah." Mori-senpai shrugged.

"Mom, come meet Haruhi!"

"We'll adopt her someday, so you must remember her!"

Haruhi was startled as she was unceremoniously dragged to the twins' mother, who was giving her a beautiful smile. She had barely been able to utter a 'pleased to meet you' before she was assessed carefully from top to bottom, the twins' mother patting her vest and arranging her ribbon, making comments on her hair and measurements.

"Make sure to come to our house, okay? I have a dress I want you to try out! And call me Aunt Yuzuha!" she beamed before catching sight of the watching hosts, fluttering to their side. "Oh! Tamaki! And Hani-kun and Mori-kun, too!"

"Sorry about that!" Kaoru said, flinging an arm at her.

"She's a bit flighty and energetic." Hikaru added, posing himself at her other side.

"You really look a lot like your mother." Haruhi commented as she watched Yuzuha-san scrutinize Tamaki's commoner get-up. "You act like her too."

"Oh, do we? I'm afraid our looks are the only thing we got from her."

"Really." she said flatly. She didn't think that anyone could act more like the twins than their mother.

"Uh huh." Kaoru waggled his eyebrows at her. "I'm afraid we got our personality from our dad's-"

"Sirius. James."

"-side of the family."

The rest of Kaoru's sentence was said in a smaller, distracted tone as they craned their necks to the source of the pleasantly masculine voice. The twins' eyes widened and the arms around Haruhi's shoulder went slack.

"Dad!"

"You came!"

Unlike their mother, the twins' father accepted their tackled hugs at the same time, not caring that his pristine suit got wrinkled, a rumbled laughter erupting from his chest. The twins held on for a moment -squeezing him- then let go at the same time, chattering a mile a minute. Surprise flitted through Haruhi's face as she stared at the twins' father.

Like their mother, their father looked very young, although his had more of a timeless edge to his face, a permanence that confused Haruhi. He was also slight and had the same build as the twins, although taller and a bit more broad-shouldered. His hair was very messy, perhaps the only other trait the twins got from him, because their similarities ended there.

He had vivid green eyes that were hidden behind square glasses, his features European like Tamaki-senpai's. He was also very handsome, in a roughish sort of way. He carried himself gracefully, not like Tamaki who had to perfect his walk and gait, but a grace that was almost careless and done unconsciously. More than one eye was drawn to him, and she could see a few women admiring his frame.

"Hari, I was just talking to Hikaru and Kaoru's friends! They should come to the house more often." Yuzuha said, smiling at her husband.

"Ah, is that so? Well, I see no reason to refuse." Hitachiin Hari said, casually cuffing his sons at the head. "Come on, you little brats. Introduce me to your friends."

It was said jokingly with a touch of fondness, and Haruhi could see the twins looked up to their father very much.

Haruhi found that the twins' father was very likeable. His eyes warmed at the Hosts and he accepted their introductions with calm amusement, even Tamaki's flamboyant display and Hani's childish greetings. His face was one of gentle sincerity and the Hosts felt contented as he smiled at them all, a bubbly feeling of happiness growing in each of them, like how one would feel after you've been praised for something you've worked hard on.

"Uncle Hari, you called Kao-chan and Hika-chan 'Sirius' and 'James' earlier." Hani-senpai said.

"Ah, that's because it's their English names. Hikaru's name in English is Sirius Gregory and Kaoru's is James Fredrick." Hari said, green eyes twinkling. "I'm from England you see, and I adapted Yuzuha's surname when I came to Japan."

"Dad's a Peverell." the twins remarked.

A lightbulb 'dinged' in Tamaki's head.

"Hari… Peverell… Hadrian Peverell?!" Tamaki gaped, his voice carrying over the din.

It made all conversation stop as eyes trailed over their party. For a moment, there was silence. Then murmurs buzzed all over as people connected the Suoh heir's outburst to the unknown man between the Hitachiin twins.

"Did he just say Hadrian Peverell?"

"_The_ Lord Peverell?"

"It can't be… must be mistaken-"

"Oh dear, we're causing a ruckus." Hari chuckled as Yuzuha clutched his arm. "Best make our way out."

Some of the hosts were confused but nodded, as they could see that the hyenas around them were minutely hesitating on approaching them because they were still unsure on his identity. But once they got confirmation they would pounce. They didn't give anyone the chance to recover as they darted away, faster than walking but not quite running, hoping to outrun the grapevine and that not many would hear that this 'Hadrian Peverell' was in Ouran.

"That was fun!" the twins chorused, faced flushed as they threw themselves on their usual couch at the Third Music Room.

"So this is your club room? It's not much different to the other rooms we passed." Their father looked around the extravagant designs, face thoughtful.

"We change them when we cosplay, but… um…" Tamaki paused. "… are you really Lord Hadrian Peverell?"

"I didn't know my name was quite known to children your age." Hari said as he sat beside his wife, accepting the cup of tea Hani-senpai offered.

"Oh, but it is dear! Parents talk and someone as elusive as you would make you even more mysterious." Yuzuha said.

"Yeah. You're quite a recluse, old man." Hikaru said.

"Practically a hermit." Kaoru snickered.

"Shut it, you little devils." Hari said, chuckling.

They began introductions and Haruhi learned quite a lot about the twins' parents that day. Their mother was the president of her own fashion empire and other companies in the beauty industry, from designer labels to perfume. She supposed that's where the twins' sense of aesthetics came from. Hikaru and Kaoru were always in charge of costume design during cosplays, and even applied make-up on her like a pro.

Their father, on the other hand was a bit more complicated.

"Dad's got two names. Like us!" Hikaru said, pointing at himself and his twin.

"To get rid of much publicity, I had to be an unknown when I married Yuzuha." Hari told them. "Otherwise people would never leave me alone."

"That sounds difficult." Haruhi said.

Hari smiled at her. "It was. I was just thankful I was able to change surnames. It was made easier when my wife was the only heir of her family." He then turned to said wife with loving eyes. "And I thank you every day for putting up with all the headache I brought along."

Yuzuha rolled her eyes. "I knew what I was signing up for when I married you."

The twins made retching sounds.

"Get a room, guys!"

"Parents into PDA. My eyes!"

"You little hellions." Their father flung a throw pillow at them.

Hari-san then explained that as Hitachiin Hari, he was a software executive, and was in the process of creating a conversion formula to transform a new source of newly-discovered energy into electricity. The technical jargons went over their head but they enjoyed listening to his voice, the twins' witty banter interrupting him once in a while.

"And no one realized who you were?" Hani-senpai said in astonishment.

"I'm good at blending in the background when it suits me." Hari-san replied.

Haruhi found that hard to believe. Hari-san was good-looking and it would take a lot of effort not to notice him. Hari-san saw their doubtful looks but just gave that half-smile of his and continued to talk.

As Hadrian Peverell, he was much more known. Haruhi was surprised at just how much. He was pretty much a household name in wealthy families. The twins were riffling through a Forbes Magazine and pointed at an article on their father, which had no picture available. Haruhi read the article, which painted Hari-san as some sort of miracle business tycoon, whizzing through stocks and shares without hitting a bad deal or market crash in his investments. He had claim on four Lordships and a Duchy in Europe, all of them thought extinct until he proved his relations. The Peverell name was very much involved in business, lands and mining, wineries and farms. He was also involved in a civil unrest in England, but the way Hari-san explained it was clipped and short; a topic he didn't want to broach.

"Dad has a lot of connections in high places. So people swarm him." Hikaru said sourly.

"Granted, I didn't know your aunt and uncles counted as connections. They were family, so it was a surprise for me." Hari-san said.

"Of course, dad. You're clueless." Kaoru said, patting his shoulder in a patronizing way.

"So just because you hide yourself people crowd around you?" Hani-senpai said.

Hari-san gave a rueful smile. "Not many people make it this far without stretching themselves thin. So people are intrigued at how I manage my businesses without wanting attention on myself. Usually, it's either you make yourself famous or be shunned and forgotten. You have to be known. In the world of the elite, attention means opportunities and opportunities means money or power. Remember that."

Haruhi grimaced. What Hari-san was saying made sense. She didn't like being in the spotlight herself but if she was aiming to be a lawyer as great as her mother, she had to take cases that were of high-profile someday.

"Anyway. It looks like the cat's out of the bag now. I'm just glad I finished my project before things got out." Hari said, then looked at a disturbed Tamaki. "And don't look too worried Tamaki-san. I already had plans in revealing myself."

"Things will be exciting for Hika-chan and Kao-chan too!" Hani-senpai said.

"Problematic too." Mori-senpai added.

"Oh great. More people flattering us for favors." the twins said sarcastically. Then they smiled devilishly. "Not like we couldn't prank them…"

Hari-san gave a long-suffering groan while his wife just laughed along with Hani and Tamaki.

"Just make sure not to blow anything up. If I get another letter from Yuzuru…"

"Why daddy, it's like you don't trust us." they blinked innocently.

"I don't trust you not to corrupt your sister." Hari snorted. He watched as the other boys exploded at the revelation that they had a younger sister, amused as the one called Tamaki turned gloomy and settled into a fetal position at a startlingly dark corner of the room, muttering something about '_keeping secrets from the family'_.

The twins cackled and jeered at the pathetic look on the blonde's face, throwing crumpled papers at him, and Harry shared a bemused look with his wife. Hikaru and Kaoru were a handful, they had been that way ever since they were young. But it wasn't as if his children were cruel. Sure, their accidental magic happened way too much to be considered 'accidental', and they seemed to have gotten the short end of the famous Potter luck, and they looked and acted so much like another pair of twins that it made him drink just imagining the years ahead. But they were good kids.

"Fine, Milord. We'll bring her over one day."

They were good kids, really.

"Just wipe the snot off your face. You look disgusting."

He just wished that his twins would act less like they were being possessed by their namesakes all the time.

* * *

So in the end all was fine and dandy, with the Cultural Festival ending with little drama (even if Tamaki was disappointed at being unable to see his grandmother). They got open invitations to the twins' estate and the duo even promised not to rig the doors with dung bombs, which was a positive note in their future house visit. They were all about to leave when an evil aura tingled their senses.

"Uh… did we forget something?"

The front door opened with a bang. In all his glory, Low Blood Pressure Evil Overlord Kyouya loomed over them. They scuttled together like rabbits, shivering.

"Hikaru. Kaoru." the devil intoned. "You never told me your father was_ the_ Lord Peverell."

"W-Well, Kyouya-senpai. We hear you fangirling about him-"

"-so it was kinda awkward-"

"-'cause how do you tell your dad-"

"-that a senpai at school had a crush on him- EEK!"

The twins' last thought as Kyouya's folder smacked them squarely in the forehead was that they may have underestimated how much the Evil Overlord admired their business tycoon of a father.

* * *

**OMAKE:**

Ageha-chan

Never let it be said that the Hitachiins didn't keep their promises.

One day the twins came in the club carrying an adorable four-year old. She had wide green eyes, auburn hair, and a forehead that crinkled in cute amusement. Her name was Hitachiin Ageha, and she loved butterflies and flowers, had her brothers' blunt personality, and followed Tamaki around like a faithful little duckie.

And she added more colorful chaos to their lives.

"Gah! Milord, give her back!"

"Stop stealing other people's little sisters!"

"We'll team up with Nekozawa-senpai and slap you with a restraining order!"

"KYA! There's a frog on my lap!"

"There's something slimy on my hair!"

"There's something moving inside my skirt! HENTAI!"

Little Ageha made frogs rain indoors. She created koi ponds from thin air. She could appear out of nowhere. But everyone was fond of her, so it was fine.

* * *

**OMAKE: **

Koi ponds

"Portable koi ponds?" twin voices echoed around the dusty backroom of the shop.

"Yep! Bloody brilliant, right kids? Another variety of the portable swamp. It's cleaner, doesn't smell like underpants, and comes with authentic fishes!"

"We figured that since Harry's not getting over being all-Asian these days, why not stretch our business to more interested clientele?"

"Neat."

Toothy smiles appeared on four mischievous gingers.

"So boys, since you're so interested in continuing our legacy, as well as your grandpop's and his merry band of misfits-"

"-might you be interested in running our new Japanese store branches?"

An ominous chill raised the hairs on Harry's neck.

* * *

**OMAKE:**

Little Lords

"Wait. If your father is a lord..."

The twins waited patiently as Tamaki's brain connected the pieces together.

"... then that makes you hellions lords too."

"Technically, we only inherit if he dies." Kaoru said, enjoying another round of 'Tormenting Tamaki'.

"But didn't dad say he'd be handing a title to us since his name is such a mess?"

"Yeah, what was it now? Potter-Black-Peverell-Gryffindor..."

"You forgot two more."

"Oh yeah."

"You little devils!" Tamaki shrieked at them, anime tears pouring out of his eyes. "You've been calling me 'Milord' when you're the ones who's going to be lords! How can you be so cruel?!"

"Which one was that again?"

"Dunno, ask dad."

"I WANNA BE A REAL LORD TOO! OR A KING! THAT'S HIGHER THAN A LORD SO THAT'LL SHOW YOU MEANIES!"

* * *

**A/N:** Haha, don't worry Tamaki. It's said in the manga that your father would've been ruling behind a folding screen had this been ancient times so you have Genji royal blood in your veins, da? ^^

Woohoo, I finished it. So to explain it, Yes, Hikaru is named Sirius Gregory Potter and Kaoru is James Frederick Potter. I know Fred and George's names are permanent like that, but it didn't sound good meshing them together like Sirius George (sounds like Curious George) or James Fred (shudders). The inspiration from this story came from the fact that I can't help but draw similarities from Gred and Forge and Hikaru and Kaoru so wouldn't it be fun if Harry's squished in there somewhere? I can only imagine his horror that his firstborn are twin gingers and Fred and George laughing in the background. Plus, their father wasn't given much of a background story in the manga so I worked around it.

So what do you think? Reviews are love. Reviews are life.

**~Review!~**


	4. Mayhem and Mischief: Side Stories

**A/N: Hello! Sorry for my abrupt leave; had an existential crisis for a few months. But wow, 200 follow and faves? I'm really flattered, thanks for the support, people! And I also noticed that ****_Mayhem and Mischief_**** got a lot of rave reviews and compliments so I made a special chapter just for you! Mind you, it's just scenes from the past and future since I noticed I focused too much on the Ouran world and not much on the HP.**

**Disclaimer:** I thank Rowling and Bisco for creating such wonderful stories. I own not the story, nor the characters. I'm playing with them though and whatever pace they go is mine. ;)

**Setting:** HP World  
**Pairing:** Harry/Yuzuha  
**Title:** Mayhem and Mischief: Side Stories  
**Part:** 1/1  
**Warnings:** AU, of course. A bit of dirty talk, and a mention of a bird prank gone wrong.

* * *

**Breaking the news (ala Weasley Twins)**

"Sorry, mate. Kindly repeat that?"

If McGonagall ever heard one of the Weasley twins talk in such a polite, well-mannered tone she would've had a heart attack then and there.

But George was so sure that Harry was pulling their leg.

That, or his ears needed serious cleaning again (well, the Pygmy Puffs just shed; the fur went _everywhere_—even to their, ahem… unmentionables).

Anyway.

Harry Potter, age twenty-eight, at the prime of his life, much-beloved savior of the Wizarding World, Lord Potter-Black-Gryffindor-yadda-yadda, looked like death loomed over his soul (again). His face was chalk-white, expression slack, and his eyes had that faraway quality that translated to 'fuck, why me'.

"I said…" Harry rasped, running a hand through his messy locks. "… it's twins."

"Oh." Fred said politely, face still pleasant.

A pause.

"And the rest?" George prompted with a courteous nod.

The Man-Who-Conquered closed his eyes, as if he couldn't bear to witness their reaction to his next words.

"Twin boys." he swallowed, inhaling the stale, hospital air. "Twin—"

"—red-headed boys! Identical in all ways!" Molly exclaimed gleefully, having returned from examining the babies from the nursery. "And so adorable! They're just like you two when you were born, Fred, Georgie—"

Their mother went on to babble happily while the new father fainted with a loud thud. A few Healers shrieked and frantically attended to the unconscious Potter Lord, barking commands at anyone who would listen.

Fred smiled cattily, stepping over Harry's body and into the direction of the nursery. "Yep."

George followed his twin, showing a glint of teeth. "That's what we thought you said."

The Healers and aides stared wide-eyed at the Weasley twins, scurrying out of the way at the unholy aura blanketing them. A few of them blanched at the demonic smirks on their faces.

Fred and George ignored them.

Their new minions were waiting.

* * *

**Choosing the honorable godfathers (Or, how Ron got dissed)**

"Can you repeat that?"

"Honestly Ron, are you deaf?"

"Or just mentally challenged. Cause I'm sure I said it clearly, maybe you have difficulty processing—"

"No, no. I heard you." Ron said, ticked. "Just… I'm supposed to be their godfather! That was decided long ago!"

They were all standing inside St. Mungo's most expensive and private room (nothing but the best for the Savior's wife) and Yuzuha was still sedated, her peacefully sleeping self surrounded by mountains of gift baskets and flowers. The birth took a lot out of her since she delivered magical twins but the healers said she would be alright after a day or two. Meanwhile her husband sat by her side still looking like a stunned animal, and Fred wanted to laugh at his face.

Harry obviously still didn't know if he should be happy he had red-headed twin boys… or walk off a cliff over the fact that they were _red-headed_ _twin boys_.

"Ron! Don't mess with fate! This is obviously destiny!" George said avidly, ignoring Harry's tortured whimper.

"Exactly! A sign from our gods!" Fred bobbed his head so vigorously he was becoming a blur to Ron's view.

"Your gods." Ron's voice was flatter than a board. "I shudder to think what kind of deity you worship."

The twins gasped as one entity, clearly affronted.

"You've been taking sarcasm lessons from Hermione!" George sounded scandalized, clutching his heart.

"And insulting our worshipped idols at the same time! Ye gods, have mercy on this pitiful soul!" Fred wailed, shaking his brother violently.

"Hey, stop that you gits!" Ron yelled, trying and failing to elbow them away. "Did you forget the meaning of personal space?! No, I'm not possessed! George, where did you get those leaves?! Hey, stop waving it in front of my face! It's itchy!"

The twins began some sort of ritualistic dance around Ron, skipping in circles and screeching what they insisted was a ceremonial chant.

"Hamana, hamana, hamana—"

"Ooga, ooga, booga—"

"Okay, what kind of weeds did you sniff this time? Wizards can get higher than the worst drug users, I swear." Hermione said as she entered the room to the sight of her husband strangling one of his cackling brothers to the floor, while the other twin had his foot planted firmly on Ron's back as he shook what looked like a branch of poison ivy at his head.

"Hermione! Stop increasing Ron's intelligence!"

"Yeah, he just went snarky on us a while ago!"

"Well, that can't be helped. Humans are learning beings." Hermione just went along as always, patting a still catatonic Harry in the cheek and placing a fruit basket on the table. The twins took a moment to admire her perpetual composure before turning back to torment their brother.

"Say aye! Say aye!"

"Never!"

"Do it or you're gonna get it!"

"Get what, you gits?! I can handle anything you throw at me!"

"Oh, Ron." Hermione sighed. She loved her husband but he was a complete sucker when it came to his brothers.

Sure enough, the twins laughed evilly and shoved the bunch of leaves in his face. Ron went cross-eyed, confused, before his eyes widened and his face turned red. And bloated.

"You bastards!" he shouted, although it was more like a squeak, as the magical version of poison ivy blew up his face. Apparently the twins were wearing invisible gloves (patent pending) so their hands were itch-free, although they couldn't say the same about their brother. Unfortunately, along with it being a skin irritant, Ron was also sensitively allergic to it, more so than a regular person. Double the fun.

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?"

The twins shut their cackling and snapped their spines, staring wide-eyed at the open door. There, in all his stern glory, was Healer Malfoy in full medical regalia, decked in pristine lime-green robes of the finest spider-silk. Hermione cocked her head and thought that it was a waste of perfectly good fabric; people barf, sprinkle blood and Merlin knows what other kinds of human entrails all over those robes every day. Hazard of being a Healer.

Then again, Malfoy had a pretty cushy position in the hospital and was not one of those overworked and harried Healers, so maybe he wasn't demeaning himself by soiling his perfect robes.

Oh well. It wasn't her job to fuss over _Malfoy's clothes_ of all things so she didn't say anything.

The former Slytherin Prince raised a blonde brow at the sheepish twins before marching inside and jabbing his wand at the red-faced Ron, his face instantly clearing up.

The blonde levitated the bunch of leaves from George's hands, lip curling in distaste. "Magic-fed poison ivy. Causes extreme itching, irritating, and painful rashes." He vanished it without preamble. "And definitely not on the approved list of things to carry. Do you want me to throw you out of here painfully? Or slap a restraining order on your arses?"

His haughty Malfoy glare made even the twins shiver, prompting a jealous sort of admiration from Ron. For whatever reason, ever since the blonde ferret was pardoned and cleaned up his act, the twins became strangely twitchy around him even as they assured everyone it wasn't caused by the war. Still, it was enough to cow the two terrors.

Malfoy slapped his metal folder at Fred's chest, hissing. "I have patients here, Weasley. Patients needing cure. What I do _not_ need are some bumbling idiots turning perfectly healthy people into more miserable dunderheads I have to watch over. Are we clear?"

Was that a glint of fang?

"Crystal." Fred and George squeaked.

Malfoy swiveled back gracefully. Then he paused, wrote something on his pad, and threw the piece of paper at Ron. He smirked. "Healer's fee. Although there doesn't seem to be much of a difference with all those hideous freckles dotting your face, Weasel."

"Malfoy, you utter bastard!" Ron yelled, shaking a fist at him, crumpling the bill.

"My parents were married, Weasel." Malfoy sniffed, turning to Hermione. "What's up with Potter? He's like the walking dead. I want to know who to thank."

Hermione lifted her head from the book she was reading, meeting curious silver eyes. "What. Haven't you heard?"

"I wouldn't ask if I knew, Granger." Malfoy said snootily.

"Weasley."Hermione said automatically. "And here I thought a Senior Healer would be first to know." She paused, Draco turning more and more impatient. She chuckled and gestured her head at the couple by the bed, one sleeping, one dumbstruck. "Twins. Red-heads."

Silence.

A snort from the blonde. "What, really?"

"Mmm…" Hermione nodded. "Harry's still in shock."

"Any sane person would be." Malfoy drawled, glancing at Fred and George. "Twin red-heads seem to be a sign of bad omen after these two were brought to the world." He ignored their indignant _'hey!'_. Then a grin lit up his pale face. "I should offer my congratulations to Potter."

Without another prompt, he hefted the innocent water pitcher sitting by the side table and poured it all over the catatonic new father.

"Hey!" Harry sputtered, falling on his ass. Fred and George howled.

"Suck it up, Potter. All that karma's backfiring on you this time." Draco said before grinning evilly. "Good luck on your future hellion twins. I reckon they'll be the new demonic apprentices of those two devils." He said, jabbing a thumb at the guffawing and eagerly nodding redheads.

The reminder turned Harry pasty white. Without another word, Malfoy strode off, but not before promising to deliver a gift basket the next time he checked by.

"Probably fill it to the brim with dead roses or dungbombs. The git." Ron growled. Harry huffed out a laugh.

"Now, Ron. Draco's been perfectly civil. Rosie's favorite toy is still that plush unicorn he gave her." Hermione said.

"He's got you and our daughter hypnotized too." Ron accused.

Hermione ignored him. "What were you, Fred and George fighting about this time?"

"Godfathers." The three chorused. Harry frowned at the reply, exchanging an exasperated look with Hermione.

Then a pause.

"I still say it's me."

"No way, bro. It's us."

"There's two of 'em. That's a sign from our gods!"

"What gods?" Hermione raised a brow. Then she raised the other brow when the twins appeared to look mortally wounded at her question. They then proceeded to give her a speech about their gods in the most condescending manner, like a stiff teacher berating a dim-witted child. Ron just groaned.

"You just had to set them off."

Hermione looked blank.

* * *

**Harry the Lawyer**

"Okay, present your cases gentlemen."

Harry stood in front of Ron, Fred, and George, looking like a barrister interrogating hardened criminals. The three of them sat dutifully and Hermione acted as the court secretary, sitting beside a sleeping Yuzuha, munching grapes from a bowl of fruit.

Harry jabbed the thermometer container at Ron's face. "Ron, you first."

Ron coughed. "As the supposed godfather before the twins rudely poked their heads in, I believe I have a strong case, Your Honor, uh… I mean Harry—"

"Your Honor will do." Harry replied with a stern nod.

"Something you're not telling us, Harry?" Hermione chirped, lips twitching. "You're very into this role play."

Harry turned to her eagerly, green eyes bright. "I find legal terms very fascinating—er… carry on, Ron."

"Right." Ron nodded pompously. "Ahem. As you all know, I am Harry's very first magical friend—"

"Uh… no you're not, Ron. Hedwig's considered a magical animal and she was my friend, so…"

"Dissed by an owl, how tragic."

"Hermione, who's side are you on?!"

"There are sides?"

"Anyway…" Ron turned his back on his giggling wife. "I'm his first _human _magical friend—"

"Uh, Ron. No you're not. Technically, Mrs. Figg had magic too. And she baked me nice cupcakes."

"Oooh, now it's by a Squib. Not that there's anything wrong with Squibs—"

"Hermione, _please_."

She clamped her mouth shut, eyes amused.

Ron tried to salvage his dignity. "Now. I'm his first magical friend whose magical standards are considered satisfactory by the Ministry to be considered a full-fledged wizard. Happy?"

"Erm… Ron?"

"What now, Harry?"

"You're not. That would be Hagrid. He was expelled but he was a Hogwarts student too."

"That's just sad. Now—"

Ron threw a pillow at his wife, which she caught expertly while laughing.

"Fine! I'm the very first Hogwarts student who had a decent conversation with Harry during his very first day in Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters! So there!"

"Uh, Ron."

"_What_ Harry—" Ron paused, seeing that it wasn't Harry who spoke this time. Instead it was one of his brothers waving a hand, a weird smile on his face. "George, what?"

"Very first Hogwarts student holding a decent conversation with Harry Potter on the station?" George said, adapting a thinking pose. "Yeah, bro. That would be me."

"And me." Fred piped up.

Ron was incredulous. "There's no way—"

Harry looked thoughtful.

"Harry?"

"You were the ones who boarded my trunk, right?"

"So you remember? Yeah, we were." Fred said. "Tiny little thing you were back then too."

"Oh."

A beat.

"Does this mean we get to be godfathers?"

* * *

"Okay, now that Ron presented his case—"

"I didn't present _anything_. Just got my self-esteem wrecked. Everything is a lie."

"There, there…" Hermione cooed at her husband.

"—it's time for the twins' case. And no, you are not allowed long speeches. Or fireworks. Or any kind of Wheezes product that inflict emotional and/or mental distress. Time limit is fifteen minutes." Harry said sternly as they wilted in disappointment.

"Bu-but… You can't rush these things!"

"You're really limiting our creativity, mate."

"All you have to do is tell me why you should be godfathers." Harry crossed his arms.

"Oh, that? That's easy. Cause we're twins."

"Cause you're twins." Ron said flatly. "That's your argument?"

"Uh huh. We're twins so we win."

"No, you don't." Ron shot back, frustrated. He looked like he could tear out his hair any minute now.

"That rule only works in porn. And only if you're busty. And blonde." Hermione said.

Silence.

"What?" Hermione said, affronted. "I happen to find that a disturbing amount of porn in the internet is about busty, blonde twins. And that they seem to be giving out the same quote as you. That they're twins, so they win." She paused. "What they win is something I won't talk about."

"What're you doing with the internet in the first place?" Harry said. "And better yet, why are you searching _porn trends_ of all things?"

"My cousin's family. Muggle remember?" Hermione said. "Borrowed my nephew's laptop one time. I do not think that much interest in pornography is healthy. He should really learn to direct his energy into other things. Or learn to use private mode."

Ron looked green. The twins, however...

"What is this internet of which you speak?"

"Sounds magical."

"Oh, believe me. It is." Harry said dryly.

"How did we end up talking about porn, of all things?" Ron said.

Hermione smacked him. "Stop the perverted thoughts, all of you."

"You started it!"

"In a purely logical, educational point of view." Hermione said primly.

"We're guys." Fred said flatly. "We do not look at porn in a _logical, educational point of view_."

"Okay, guys. Stop, stop. Going back to the 'godfather' issue. If 'being twins' is your only argument then why do you need more than fifteen minutes?" Harry said.

"Well, we had a more elaborate explanation. But the gist was, '_we're twins so we win_'." George said promptly.

"You mean you were going to deliver a long-winded speech but the bottom line was that '_you're twins, so you win_'." Hermione deadpanned.

George looked at her like she was stupid. "That's what I just said."

Ron and Hermione groaned but Harry looked resigned.

"Okay, lay it on me." Harry said.

Fred and George were pleased, scrambling into place.

"The history of mischief making has dated far back into civilization." Fred's demeanor changed into that of a slick, broom salesman. "In fact, historic records suggest—"

"Can we fast forward to the part where you say something outrageous and I refuse to make you godparents?" Harry said, wishing he had a headache potion. Fred and George could only be handled at small doses after all. Constant exposure like this was not good to anyone's health.

"Ha! By the end of our speech, you'll be begging us to be godfathers!" George said.

"Not likely."

"But seriously, Harry. They're twins! They are to continue our greatest legacy! You're too much of a goody-two shoes to uphold our glorious traditions—"

"Goody-two shoes? The three of us broke more rules than there was ever made at Hogwarts." Hermione said drily. "Heck, they made a whole new law chapter and named it the '_Golden Trio Amendment'_—"

"Ah, the Amendment. That '_I will not call an honor challenge against a founder's ancient and deadly beast_' was the best one in my opinion. But still!" Fred said, his eyes burning with intensity once more. "Those rule-breaking escapades of yours were just because you needed to—"

"—and not because you wanted to! It is an insult to rule-breaking if you perform such acts just because of the feeble reason that your life is being threatened!" George declared, ignoring Hermione's mutter of, '_of course, because trying to preserve your life is such a feeble reason_'.

"It must be because of mayhem—"

"—and mischief!"

"—that you perform such devilry!" George cackled.

Silence.

"Ever get the feeling that you don't know if they're still joking or they're already batshit insane?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"With Fred and George you never know the difference." Harry said.

Ron just looked dumbstruck.

"Honey?"

He turned to his wife. "We broke _all_ of Hogwarts' rules?"

Hermione blinked. He didn't know? "Well, yes. Not that it hasn't been done before. The Marauders did, and Fred and George made it their goal to demolish every single one on their first year."

"Only difference is the number of times they've been broken." Harry said. He seemed to have gotten over whatever despair he was agonizing over moments ago. "My dad and his friends have a whole drawer to themselves, repeatedly breaking each rule at least ten times. Fred and George has two drawers. Between me, you, and Mione, we only have one slide. A quarter of a drawer."

He chose to ignore George's mutter of '_shameful_'.

"And how did you know?" Hermione said.

Harry shrugged. "Hiding from fangirls during seventh year."

"_In Filch's office_?"

"Not my proudest moment."

"But this goes to show that you people are failures at mischief-making!" George tsked. "Breaking rules only once?! Where's the passion?! The eagerness to do it again and again for the thrill?!"

Ron raised a hand. "I somehow want to defend our honor by saying '_it's quality over quantity_' but I don't think Hermione and Harry'd appreciate it."

"No we won't." the two said.

Harry eyed Fred and George and was alarmed to see the put-out look on their faces. The same faces they made when Umbridge got on their last nerves, prompting them to leave Hogwarts with a bang before taking their legendary flight out.

He had to do something quick. Before St. Mungo's experienced the same _bang._

"Whatever did your gods give you to inspire such loyalty?" Harry cottoned on.

"Mate, you can't seriously—"

"Play along, Ron. Play along."

The twins perked up.

"They gave us dragonhide boots." Fred said, strutting said boots around.

"And acromantula silk, to name a few." George said, rubbing his knuckles on his expensive suit.

"That's just good business skills." Ron grouched.

"No! It is a gift from our gods!" Fred said passionately.

"And those gods are?" Harry said cluelessly.

"Oh, don't you start!" Ron yelled.

He was too late. Much to Ron's despair, he was subjected to the twins' impassioned speech about their gods for the third time that day.

* * *

**Poor future tiny Potters...**

In the end, it was no use arguing with the twins. They had a one-track mind and didn't have the word '_no_' in their vocabulary. They had scurried out of the room when Harry gave up and made them godfathers (just to keep them from yammering on about their gods) and Hermione followed suit, saying something about keeping an eye out in case they got out of their leash.

"I'll make you godfather to my other kids." Harry patted Ron at the back.

Ron squinted at him. "You really want more kids if your first two turn out to be like Fred and George?"

Harry swallowed hard. He hadn't thought of that.

"If you do, I wonder if it can be considered child abuse." Ron said thoughtfully, then he shook his head. "Poor future tiny Potters."

Harry gave him a look. "Fred and George are right. You're being as snarky as Mione."

Ron snorted. "I live with the woman everyday—"

A threatening aura crept at their backs.

"And?"

Ron paled and faced his stone-faced wife. "—and never have I felt so blessed, Hermione my love, my light."

"Good save. You're still taking the couch tonight." Hermione said.

"Where's Fred and George?" Harry said.

"In the nursery. Something about picking apprentices." she said.

Harry paled and sprinted out of the room. Ron gave Hermione a look of pure betrayal.

"You left those poor babies at the mercy of Fred and George."

"I figured that since Harry gave his approval, the rest we could do is watch everything crumble and burn."

"Point."

Meanwhile...

"Haha! Fred, dibs on the right!"

"Fine, I'll take the left one! He seems less fussier."

"Fussier is better! More energy to create chaos."

"No way. How can I teach him if he's distracted?_ My_ twin will be dedicated to the arts!"

They heard a loud thud and turned to see the Harry fainting again, having caught their nefarious conversation.

They ignored his crumpled form and went back to tutting over the tiny babies.

"Ickle baby pranksters." Fred cooed. "Uncle Freddie's gonna teach you how to live."

* * *

**Extended Family  
**

Dudley has long since moved out of his parents' house, unable to stand their bigotry especially when it turned out that his daughter, his only child Violet, was a witch. They had all but declared him denounced unless he kicked his daughter away and Dudley, a changed man, had sneered at his purpling father and told him to go get hit by a bus.

That very same day Dudley went to visit his cousin along with his wife Anna and their distressed daughter. He was stunned to find out that the cousin that he bullied as a kid was filthy rich and had the whole Wizarding World worshipping the dirt he walked on. Still, Harry greeted him amiably and handed out sweets to his new niece, who went out to play with Kaoru and Hikaru to forget the fiasco with her enraged grandparents.

"I never liked them anyway." Violet murmured solemnly over their snack of sugar cookies and orange juice that a funny creature called Dobby brought. Her dad and mum went to talk to her new Uncle Harry. She thought he looked cool with that scar of his, even if his hair was all messy.

"Really? Our grampa Arthur and gramma Molly are nice. He tells us stories and gramma's cooking is the best." Kaoru said as he flicked his gobstone.

"And ojii-sama and obaa-sama are weird and they smile funny, but they're okay." Hikaru said, crying in triumph when his stone hit Kaoru's away from the board.

"Who's that?" Violet said, bewildered.

"Mom's mama and papa. They're overseas. In _Nihon_. Japan. " Kaoru said the word slowly, hoping he got it right.

"Oh." Violet said, looking down at her hands. "Well, I don't like _my _grandma and grandpa. They yell a lot and grandma's got that pinched look on her face and grandpa wanted to hit dad—"

She sniffled and the twins looked at each other in alarm, not taught on how to deal with a crying girl.

"You can come with us to the Burrow!" Kaoru said frantically.

"Yeah, they can be their new grandparents! They won't mind!" Hikaru added, waving his arms around.

Violet blinked, her eyes glassy. "That sounds nice."

To their dismay her sniffs got even louder. They were about to hightail the heck out. Girls were so troublesome!

Thankfully, their own mother entered the room and they scrambled up to greet her and introduce Violet, who forgot her tears as soon as she caught sight of the beautiful lady.

"Violet, was it? Well, I have just the right dress for a pretty girl like you." she smiled at her and Violet could feel her cheeks warming.

"You're the best, mom!"

"You'll see! Mom makes awesome clothes!"

A bemused Dudley and Harry sat at the dining table a few hours later as Violet twirled around in her new silver and pale blue dress, Anna and Yuzuha cooing at the adorable sight. Hikaru and Kaoru stood beside their father and uncle, fiddling with some round contraption Hermione gave them as a gift, having long since abandoned their board game in favor of hiding behind their dad.

"Not going to go squeal with your mother and aunt?"

The twins shot their father identical looks of horror.

"Are you kidding, dad? They're so… so…" Kaoru waved a hand at their direction and shuddered. "Girly!"

"And I think Violet still has cooties." Hikaru whispered at him.

"You're not seriously going to tell me that you still believe in cooties." Harry snorted. His twins were too smart for their own good. A fact that their uncles took advantage of.

"Nope." Kaoru said promptly.

"But we're gonna use that excuse to get rid of girls 'till we hit puberty." Hikaru said with relish.

"By then, you'll probably be more concerned on keeping them near you than away." Harry muttered under his breath.

"What was that, dad?"

"Nothing, son."

* * *

**Pomposity and Stiff-Upper Lips  
**

"Nooooo!"

"You can't make us, daaaaaad!"

Yuzuha smirked as Harry tried to bodily drag one of his sons out of twins' shared room, only for Hikaru to clutch the edges of the door in a steel grip, his fingernails digging into the tempered wood.

"Hikaru, nooooo!" a shrill scream came from the bedroom.

"Kaoru, save yourself!"

"I can't leave you, Hikaru!"

"You should! You can still be free, Kaoru!"

"Oh, stop your drama, you menaces. It's Christmas and you need to get out of your den!"

"We're hibernating till February! Leave us alone, dad!"

"No, you are going to socialize and you are going to like it." Tired of doing grunt work, Harry dropped Hikaru who sighed in relief and slackened his hold at the thought that his father gave up. He squeaked in alarm when Harry pulled out his wand instead. He tried to scramble away but it was too late.

Grimly, Harry marched into the large bathroom with his twins floating behind him sullenly. Without any warning, he dumped them in the warm water—pajamas and all— ignored their shrieks, and called for Dobby.

"Yes, Harry Potter sir?" Dobby said over the indignant shouts of his Master's twin heirs.

"Dobby, please make sure they have their baths and dress up for today. Unless," he eyed his sons. "you need any help from Dobby?"

The twins blanched as the House elf held up a steel scrub and a bottle of toilet cleaner. They shook their heads no.

"Good, I expect you down within thirty minutes or Dobby will… _assist_ you." There was a glint in his eyes that made the twins gulp.

Twenty-eight minutes later the twins were dressed and primped, looking like the perfect pureblood heirs. The looks on their faces could do some work, but Harry knew that their sour expressions were because they didn't like this particular outing.

Well, fat chance of them bailing out. If the father had to suffer, his spawns should suffer too.

"Very good parental skills, dear." Yuzuha said wryly when he told her so a while ago.

"Dad, why do we have to do this?" Hikaru whined as they waited at the foyer.

"This is a waste of time! Time is precious, dad! Precious!" Kaoru proclaimed, attempting and failing to grab his gel-slicked hair.

"We could do something far more useful! Like doing pranks! Ending world hunger! Doing pranks! Sleeping the night off! Doing pranks! And we're growing boys so sleeping the night off again seems good too!"

"Why won't you stop complaining? That's useful too." Yuzuha said from behind the whining pair, flicking their ears. She was walking down the stairs from tucking her daughter in just to hear the boys grumbling at their father. "The trouble you give your father over bathing and dressing up…"

"This is why we stopped at Ageha." Harry said in a long-suffering voice. "Wouldn't want to let any other of our poor future children experience this torment."

"Aw, dad. You know you love us!"

"Like one loves the dynamite." Harry said. "Sounds good in theory but millions suffer."

"But I really don't want to go." Kaoru muttered, Hikaru nodding along.

"All that posturing and ass-kissing—" Harry really needed to tell Fred and George to tone their language. "—makes me sick. And then they go and talk bad about mom behind our backs."

Yuzuha's smile was tight. While equality was all the rage in Britain after Harry's defeat of Voldemort, there were still traditionalists that believed in blood purity. It couldn't be helped, it was their way of life. Every country has that certain group of extremists that lived their lives with certain beliefs. Harry couldn't very well imprison them for following traditions, especially since they do nothing to harm other people.

They disliked the thought of Harry Potter marrying a muggle. His ancestry was out in the open, and the Wizengamot was in an uproar when his muggleborn mother was revealed to be from the line of the Ancient House of Headley through a long line of squibs, and was in all rights, considered a pureblood.

"The best they can do is talk, Hikaru." Yuzuha said. "They don't bother me."

And they didn't. Yuzuha had heard worse criticisms in Japan. She was the Hitachiin's female heiress, the only child from the main line, and distant cousins who wanted a grab at the Headship of the family would spew out poisonous words like running water.

The rickety old purebloods of Britain was small fry to Yuzuha.

Their twins still looked displeased. Harry and Yuzuha exchanged a 'what can you do' look, ushering them outside the door.

"Come on, cheer up kids." Harry said when the boys continued to be mulish inside the car. "I promise to take you to the Burrow later. Uncle Bill and Charlie just got back early for Christmas. They have hot cocoa and s'mores."

Predictably, the twins perked up at his offer and soon they were yammering away, talking animatedly about their uncles and the exotic presents they usually have for them. Harry patted himself on the back mentally. Cheering up the kids? Check. It may be a small consolation prize, but at least they had something to look forward to after attending a party no one wanted to attend to in the first place.

The Burrow was the twins' home away from home after all.

Later, much much later, Harry and Yuzuha could only watch in amusement as Hikaru and Kaoru regaled the Weasleys with the tale of how they blew up the Head of Goblin Liaison, who had ignored their mother while shamelessly throwing herself at their dad, all in between bites of graham crackers and melted marshmallows.

"—and then, and then, she went all purple like a puffed-up blowfish and floated aaaall the way up to the chandeliers—"

Harry and Yuzuha toasted their mugs of cocoa as they sat on rickety chairs, covered in one of Molly's knitted blankets. He pressed a kiss at his wife's forehead as she snuggled closer, sighing contentedly.

This was peace.

_Boom._

"Woo! You just blew up a stack of Percy's old notebooks! Good one, Charlie!"

Or at least, as close to peace as they can get.

* * *

**Ageha's all-grown up**

"Daaaaaddy!"

A bemused Tippy watched as her young mistress and young masters sped across the mansion, Lady Ageha stomping away with a red face while his Master's young heirs trailed after her in between laughs.

Shaking her head, the house-elf smiled indulgently.

Even though Young Master Hikaru was now one of the most respected magical engineers in the world and Young Master Kaoru was admired for being one of the youngest designers in his line of work (Tippy still thought it odd that humans valued _clothes_ so much, she shuddered), they still gave effort to spend time with their younger sister.

_'Or in this case,'_ Tippy mused as Lady Ageha let out another frustrated wail. _'Torment and tease her.'_

Shaking her head once more, Tippy went back to work.

"Oh, come on Ageha!" Hikaru called.

"If he couldn't stand a harmless little prank, then he wasn't right for you!" Kaoru said, following her into the exquisite main living room where their mother and uncles sat with her mid-afternoon tea.

"Hi boys. Hi Ageha." Charlie greeted, although his honorary niece just fled to her room.

"He was a weakling! A chicken!" Hikaru yelled at his sister's retreating back.

A pause.

"Literally a chicken." They said together, before bursting into triumphant laughter.

"Nice!" Fred whooped from the couch, giving them high-fives. George was getting the whole story out of Kaoru while the others just gave long-suffering sighs.

Fred, George, Bill, and Charlie were currently holed up in Potter Mansion. It was Victoire's birthday tomorrow and their mother had shooed them out of the house to dust while the women decided to go shopping. Blanching at the memory of their last shopping escapade, the boys had no desire of carrying their baggage all day so Fred and George set Ron up as bait and fled the scene the moment Hermione turned to look at the men with an evil eye.

Bill and Charlie grinned at each other and toasted a glass of Harry's finest whiskey.

They had no regrets on sacrificing Ron.

None at all.

"A chicken?" George looked critical. "Too elementary. Do better next time, boys."

Hikaru and Kaoru nodded vigorously.

"You turned your sister's date into a chicken?" Yuzuha said, turning a page on her novel, not looking the least bit interested. The twins flopped into the velvet couch in front of her, and once again she was struck at how much they looked like her, only as masculine versions. She eyed them fondly, a smile tilting her lips at the sight of her two handsome boys.

They had grown so much, finding their individual paths yet never weakening their bond at the slightest. It only served to strengthen their relationship as twins, in fact. One would offered insight and advice on things the other twin had difficulty in and vice versa. They never resented each other, even in their differences.

Once, long ago, Yuzuha feared that the startling similarity and almost possessive relationship the two had shared in their childhood would cause them to resent the other once they branched out into things that would not interest the other twin. Instead they flourished, and Yuzuha could not be prouder of them as she was right now.

Still…

"YOU ARE THE BANES OF MY LIFE, AND WHAT'S WORSE, THERE'S TWO OF YOU—"

She chuckled at the angry insults her youngest screamed out from the second floor. Her voice wafted to the living room despite the fact that it was supposed to be soundproofed. Hikaru and Kaoru just high-fived each other, snickering about how their sister's hatred for them reaching decibels that not even muffling charms could buffer.

"-AND I'M GONNA SHOVE IT UP YOUR—"

Yuzuha blew her tea as more colorful words came out of her daughter's mouth. Normally she would scold Ageha for such language but her daughter knew better than to act like so in polite company. Yuzuha could excuse her when she was around family. Ageha was raised as a quarter Weasley, (the rest as a quarter Black, Hitachiin, and Potter) and Fred and George could spout of phrases that would make a sailor blush so it wasn't a wonder where she picked it up from.

"Woah, I know Ageha had the birds and the bees talk but come on. That's out of the pages of Kama Sutra." Kaoru blinked, impressed, before yelling out. "I don't think that's anatomically possible, lil sis!"

Ageha's next words had Yuzuha choking on her tea. Fred and George guffawed.

"What do you know, it _is_ anatomically possible." Hikaru said, uttering a small 'huh'.

"But no, we're not interested in doing _that _with a shovel. Sounds kinky but no thanks." Kaoru sniffed, raising his voice. "Shame on you _imouto, _and your naughty fantasies!"

Bill snorted. Harry's family was a barrel of laughs.

"Your little sister's already fuming mad about your escapade last week." Yuzuha coughed, tapping her finger. "What on earth possessed you to turn her new date into a chicken?"

"We thought it fit." Kaoru exclaimed, snatching a biscuit from the tea tray.

"The guy was shaking like a leaf, the coward. Honestly, he wouldn't stand a chance against an ogre like Ageha." Hikaru said loudly.

"I am not an ogre!" Ageha shrieked from somewhere.

"Really, we were just saving him from her wily clutches." Kaoru defended.

"A chicken, boys? Not very creative." Harry said as he walked down the stairs, a pouting Ageha trailing behind him. "Last week it was a dodo bird."

This only served to set the twins off, giving their father two thumbs up. "Poor bloke was never the same after venturing to the muggle world with feathers and a beak."

"He got anal-probed as a dodo, of course he was never the same!" Ageha shrieked, making the twins (both sets) burst into laughter again.

Harry massaged his head, even as he tried to fight his amusement. The twins had forgotten that the dodo bird was extinct to muggles and promptly turned Ageha's date into said bird. The man-turned-prehistoric-fowl panicked, fled, and somehow waddled his way to downtown London where he was captured, caged, poked and prodded by several enthusiastic scientists.

The twins were surprised when Harry told them what happened to Ageha's date-turned-experiment, although said date didn't really hold it against them when he turned back to human. In fact, he looked oddly flushed.

In unrelated news, the young man was now in a relationship with another boy.

"He enjoyed being _poked_, if you know what I mean." Fred said devilishly when he heard what Kaoru and Hikaru had done, George wheezing with laughter in the background.

That just steeled the twins' resolve to turn Ageha's dates into birds, stating that it was a fool-proof way of turning them against her (and turning them towards their own gender).

"I'm never gonna have a boyfriend!" Ageha cried, shaking her father violently. "My dates swear off women because of my brothers! I'll have a perpetual sign in my forehead that says 'old maid'! I'm gonna be alone, unmarried, without any friends, smelling like mothballs and living with thirty cats that I'll all name Tracy since I can't remember that many names!"

"And Tracy is a genderless name so it won't matter if it's a girl or boy cat!" Hikaru beamed, petting her head.

The frigid glare Ageha gave him could have him buried six feet under.

"Ah, the troubles of having twin hellions as brothers." Bill sighed wistfully. "Such a torment on your love life."

"You'll never know when you and your date would get covered in tartar sauce." Charlie said wisely. "Or get turned into malamutes in the middle of a meatball spaghetti dinner."

"Ahhh… The Lady and the Tramp inspiration. That movie was cute." Fred chirped, remembering Charlie's Italian date. Then he glared at his brother. "But you didn't re-enact the doggy noodle kiss with her! Even if it wasn't the right dog breed, show some appreciation for your brothers' hard work!"

Charlie gave him a bland look. "We were more concerned about fighting the urge to chase our tails."

"Excuses." Fred huffed.

"They were that much of a terror?" Ageha asked in slight horror.

Yuzuha gave her daughter a dry look. "Why do you think Aunt Ginny eloped and moved to Majorca? Your uncles wouldn't stop terrorizing her beau, and when she got married they wouldn't stop whipping out embarrassing baby photos of her."

Ageha blinked. "Oh."

Then her face morphed into pure horror, pointing a shaky finger between her father, uncles, and brothers. "I… I am never really going to have a boyfriend! With Daddy being… Daddy and the twins beings demons! Uncle Fred and George too! And… and Kyoya-nii and Tamaki-nii—"

She sounded hysterical.

Everyone else looked thoughtful.

Indeed, with the Man-Who-Conquered as father, twin devils as brothers, every Weasley men as somehow-uncles, powerful and rich young men as quasi-siblings, two unbeatable national martial artists as pseudo-cousins, Ageha's chances of getting a proper date was…

Nada.

Pretty much below zero.

They all stared at her.

Harry smiled at his daughter. "Darling, what do you think about living in a reinforced tower?"

Needless to say, Ageha was not pleased.

* * *

**A/N: Once again, so sorry for not attending to this. Like I said, most of my files got demolished but fortunately I began writing again. My idea for Kitten and Rabbit was to let the Host Club explore the link between Kirimi and Hani, but those files are long gone. So I'm looking for more inspiration and hopefully I can come up with something as good as those I've lost.**


	5. Emerald Empress

**A/N:** Hello, people. Been a while, hasn't it? Haha… Um… No excuses, just that life's been a bitch recently.

So, this oneshot will eventually blow into a full story (maybe) since I like the plot for some reason. Anyway, this is a snippet that can be inserted anywhere from the beginning till the part where Tamaki and his grandmother reconciles since, it kinda loses its point if his grandmother's doesn't hate him.

**Disclaimer:** I thank Rowling and Bisco for creating such wonderful stories. I own not the story, nor the characters. I'm playing with them though and whatever pace they go is mine. ;)

**Summary:** "And so the Chairman divorced his lawful wife and had Milord with his mistress." Kaoru said. "But with his first marriage, he had one child. The Suoh heir."

**Setting:** HP/Ouran  
**Pairing:** ?  
**Title:** Emerald Empress  
**Part:** 1/?  
**Warnings:** Obviously AU and OOC Tamaki

* * *

**Second Mansion  
Suoh Branch Estate**

"I'm home."

Tamaki blinked in surprise when the usual army of maids and butlers didn't return his greeting. In fact, he was all alone in the Main Entrance.

"Ah, young master Tamaki."

Tamaki turned his head just to see his governess appear near the balustrade. She had steel gray hair pulled in a tight bun, a crisp kimono, and was a constant in Tamaki's life ever since he first arrived from France.

"Shima," the blonde greeted the elder with a smile. "Where is everyone?"

"They are in the Main House temporarily, young master. Maria, Nana, Tatsuma, Roku and most of the kitchen staff are still here for anything you might need."

"Ho? I see…" Tamaki said, loosening his tie. He didn't really mind. If it made his grandmother happy. "Did grandmother send for them? I didn't know the Main House would need more people for… for what exactly? Is something happening?"

"Indeed, young master. A guest has arrived and your grandmother wanted the east wing completely renovated."

"A guest?"

Shima's sharp eyes met Tamaki's curious violet. "Your elder sister, young master. She has arrived overseas."

* * *

Tamaki stared at the scenery as the limousine drove on. The upscale neighborhood and their beautiful gardens did nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

Wryly, he thought of his situation right now.

His elder sister, he thought. His _half_-sister, he amended. From his father's first and legitimate marriage. Their only child. The rightful heir.

He knew it wasn't accidental that most of the servants of the Second Mansion were sent to the Main House by his grandmother's orders. It was a deliberate play on her part. He knew that the Main House didn't need more servants to attend to his sister's needs since they could easily hire more people or summon the servants from the Azabu mansion which was nearer the Main House. No, there was an underlying message to it. His grandmother most probably wanted to tell him silently that his needs were of less importance compared to his sister's.

He didn't mind. He would learn to live and serve himself if it would make his grandmother happy.

But it hurt. It hurt that she hated him this much.

Tamaki tapped the invitation that was clutched in his hand. It was made of thick, perfumed and obviously expensive paper. Much like the invitations the Host Club sends out for their customers. The only difference was the gold trim and the purple Chrysanthemum seal.

The seal of the Suoh family.

Tamaki himself had no right to use it. Only his father, grandmother, and elder sister did. The purple chrysanthemum was equivalent to an imperial seal, a symbol of the highest power in Japan.

_Young Master Tamaki_

_ Good day. You are cordially invited for afternoon tea at Kikuye Hall, Suoh Main Estate. The limousine shall arrive to escort you by 2:30 in the afternoon. Please dress accordingly._

_Hikawa Junichi  
Head Secretary  
Suoh Main Branch_

The paper was already worn from the numerous times Tamaki handled it, reading it over and over again. Beneath the layer of pleasantries, he knew that letter was an order for him to attend, even though they called it an 'invitation'. He also knew that someone would be mightily displeased if he ignored the summons. Most likely his grandmother.

Again, Tamaki smiled sardonically. The letter contained a lot of hidden messages one would usually overlook if they weren't in his situation.

At first it seems like a lovely request, but he could read underneath the underneath.

For one, to receive a letter written by the Head Secretary meant that his grandmother would not give any effort of writing the letter personally. It was an indirect jab. Tamaki had only received one letter from the Head Secretary before, and it was to deliver his grandmother's message that in no terms was he to step a foot on the Main House and that he had better behave himself as befitting of a member—no matter how unwanted— of the Suoh family.

And it was a forced invitation. He could only think of one reason as to why he was being invited after his grandmother barred him from the Main House.

His sister.

She had probably demanded for Tamaki to come to the Main House to meet him.

He knew, from his father's stories, that their grandmother could not deny his sister anything. Except for her pride. And to let Tamaki come to the Main House was definitely scorning his grandmother's pride. She did not like to be proved wrong or disobeyed. So she would refuse his sister.

Most likely his sister threatened to come to the Second Mansion instead, going to Tamaki to greet him, protocols be damned. His grandmother would not like that. The true-born heir giving so much effort to meet the bastard child. It would scandalize her. Tamaki should come to his sister, not the other way around.

So they would agree on a decision that would make them meet halfway.

Which brings them to the setting for their afternoon tea.

Kikuye Hall.

Chrysanthemum Hall.

The Suoh Main House was large. Vast. Easily thrice the size of the Second Mansion. But only the northern-most part of the estate was considered the Main House, where the Suoh family resided. (The fact that Tamaki had to be housed a few kilometers away while there was so much space available stung.) The surrounding lands and mansions were owned by their family but mostly vacated and used to entertain guests and house important dignitaries. The servants who tended their upkeep open them once in a while.

Kikuye Hall was one such mansion.

So technically, Tamaki was not stepping a foot on the Main House. Not really.

"Young Master, we have arrived."

Tamaki started out of his thoughts as the white gates opened for the limousine, his eyes widening as he was treated to his first sight of the Suoh Main Estate.

It was breathtaking, he decided. It was open-spaced and felt liberating. He stared as they drove by, the ride slowing down a bit.

The buildings all had their own beautiful gardens, carefully tended to. Most of them were not inter-connected, giving space in between for lush grass, street lamps and trees. There was a smooth paved road to every building, twisting and intertwining, and Tamaki could imagine how confusing this place would be to someone who was not very good at directions.

It was like a small city.

Tamaki could vaguely picture a dance hall (probably for balls and large parties) at his left, with clear windows showing the chandeliers and curving staircases. In the distance he could see a sprawling vegetable garden, a few people tending to the produce merrily. Three greenhouses stood next to it and he could only wonder what kind of plants were being grown there. There was a lovely pond (or maybe a man-made lake?) with an ivory white bridge, a few cottages, and a lot of mansions and manors that he could barely count.

"The estate is self-sufficient then?" Tamaki asked tentatively.

The speaker buzzed and the driver answered from the front.

"Yes, young master. We still receive supplies from the outside, mostly via plane or helicopter. But it becomes a problem for security sometimes so we receive them only once a week. Most of what we need—fruits, vegetable, meat, fish—can be grown here. The Suoh-grown fruits and flowers are especially sought after."

"Yes, I've heard of them." Tamaki smiled. His family wasn't into fresh produce, but for some reason the fruits and blooms that have grown in the Suoh estate was rumored to bring luck and good health ever since his sister had taken to giving it out at parties.

The apples and lilies were particularly desirable, or so he heard.

"We're nearing Kikuye Hall, young master."

"Alright."

"And you may want to look at front, young master. I shall open the screen for you."

Tamaki opened his mouth in confusion, but snapped it shut when the monitor in front of him showed what only the driver could see up front.

And at the very end of the wide road was the Suoh Main House.

Tamaki had not known anything about the Main House before, having been barred. Kyoya searched for him when he said so, but he didn't find anything, much to the black-haired boy's annoyance. The Suoh servants were tight-lipped about the interior and security made sure that pictures were scarce. Most of the previous guests were quick to note about the elegance and magnificence of the place, but you can only put so much into words.

And now, Tamaki was seeing it. The Main House was easily the largest building in the estate. Edwardian-style architecture, it was cream and white in color. It was seven stories high, the seventh floor being the private floor of the family. Soft yellow light bathed the mansion, and Tamaki knew that the whole place was lit from the inside. A sculpted chrysanthemum was embedded at the middle of the mansion to show the Suoh's ownership. He could see the neatly trimmed hedges, a few marble statues, and there was a lovely fountain at front with the staircases leading to the wide-open front doors. It was a piece of art many would be begging to paint or picture. The mansion was tasteful and not overly-done. Tamaki had to wonder who commissioned the place to be built this beautifully.

"Who—"

"Your great-great-grandmother— your grandfather's grandmother— had planned to have it built. She was a lover of the Western arts, particularly the classics. Her name was Suoh Kanoko, I believe. Her grandson, your grandfather, finished the building."

Tamaki blinked. "How did you know I was going to ask?"

A chuckle. Tamaki could hear the humor in his voice. "Your sister was very vocal about you. She said that you would probably ask about the estate." The voice paused. "Hmm… how did he describe you again? Ah, yes. A lover of beauty."

Tamaki couldn't stop himself. "But of course! Beauty is—"

The driver laughed and hmmed as Tamaki ranted, voicing out an agreement whenever the blonde paused for confirmation.

"—and that's why—"

The car stopped.

"Eh?"

"I would have warned you that we're here, young master. But your argument about the aesthetics of common people was very interesting."

Tamaki didn't know if he was being sincere or sarcastic.

The car door opened and Tamaki's eyes went wide once more.

* * *

**Kikuye Hall  
Suoh Main Estate**

"Welcome to Kikuye Hall, young master."

Vaguely, Tamaki noted to thank his governess for giving him an idea about Kikuye Hall. If she hadn't, he wouldn't have expected _this_ after all the Western-styled architecture the whole estate was designed with.

Kikuye Hall, she said, was a preserved Suoh landmark. Most of the Main House was westernized into Edwardian and Renaissance styles but a few gems were kept as they are. Kikuye Hall was one, a classic Japanese manor from the Sengoku period.

Tamaki felt awe as he looked at Kikuye Hall. If he had been allowed inside the Main Estate he would have never dragged Kyoya all over Japan to tourist. From what Shima told him, there were other building like this around and they were never from the same Japanese period.

The path to the mansion was inlaid with cobbled stones. There was a koi pond sprinkled with the petals of the Sakura tree resting at the side. It was the epitome of a peaceful setting, although…

"It looks more like a temple." Tamaki said.

"It is, in a way." The driver said. "It was mostly used for ceremonies until it wasn't needed. It was turned into a household instead."

Kikuye Hall itself reminded Tamaki of Hani and Mori's mansions, only smaller and much more elegant. For ceremonial purposes, most probably. It looked pristine and in excellent condition too—

A giggle broke him out of his thoughts and he glanced at a smiling young woman walking towards them. She had brown hair and pretty eyes, dressed in a business suit.

"Hime-sama told us you had a deep fascination with Japanese culture. Seeing the sparkles around your head, I have to agree with her." She smirked. "Adachi Miho, young Master Tamaki. I am your sister's personal assistant. A pleasure to meet you."

"Nee-sama?" Tamaki brightened. Then he remembered his manners. "I mean, a pleasure to meet you too."

He would have taken her hand and kissed it, but she waved said appendage, giggling.

"Oh, you're such a dashing young man. I can see the resemblance." she gushed. "So very like your sister you are."

"Cut it out, Miho. Flattering the young master won't earn you points for the hime." the driver smirked. "Nor is flirting with her. She bats for the other team."

His sister's PA pouted. "It's all in good fun. Besides, I have a girlfriend."

"A girlfriend who flirts just as heavily as you. If hime-sama didn't find it funny, you'd be off to court for sexual harassment."

"Oi, I don't go that far. I just want to touch her cute little—"

Tamaki's brain was_ fried_.

* * *

"Young Master, good to see you."

"Shima?!"

Tamaki gaped at his governess who was waiting for them at the entrance, cool as a cucumber. What the… the last time he saw her she was bowing from the Second Mansion gate!

She raised an unimpressed brow before motioning for them to follow.

"But how did you—how did she—"

"We thought you'd appreciate the tour around the estate, Young Master." Shima interrupted his rambles. "There is a quicker way to get inside the estate. The main gate is rarely opened. Even your father and grandmother rarely use it."

"Then why—"

"Your sister thought you would enjoy the longer scenery."

"Well…" Tamaki sighed and smiled. "I did."

Shima gave him a slight smile back. "She would be happy to hear that."

"Young Master!"

"You're here!"

"Eri, Tanaka, Mizuki. Nice to see you." Tamaki was surprised to see some of the Second Mansion staff with him. "Why are you here?"

"Oh! The young mistress thought you'd feel at ease if we look after you instead." Mizuki beamed.

"The rest were dismissed back to the Second Mansion." Tanaka said. "The young mistress said that it wasn't very necessary to renovate her rooms."

"But she asked us to stay!" Eri chirped. "We know young master better after all."

"And so you do." Shima interrupted. "However, the young mistress might pass marriageable age waiting for the young master. Come, young master Tamaki."

The other looked cowed, although they waved and giggled at him as he was led further inside.

"The young mistress was feeding the koi the last I saw of her." Shima said.

"There's a pond out back too?" Tamaki inquired, admiring the katana and paintings propped at the walls.

"Indeed." The old woman said. Then she paused. "I believe I don't have to impress how important it is that you remain in your honorable sister's good graces, young master."

Tamaki stilled. Despite her impassive face, he could see the concern on Shima's face. He smiled at her.

"You don't."

Tamaki knew that his future depended on his sister's approval. She was the heiress of the Suoh clan. There was no need for Tamaki. However, there was also a need for a spare heir just in case (Kami forbid) she should be indisposed.

Tamaki knew that his grandmother thought there was no need for him to be around. His sister was strong, powerful, and extremely intelligent. She was a veritable genius, and already held a portion of the corporation in her command. She was shrewd and had the makings of a leader, despite being female and not yet twenty.

All in all, someone his grandmother was fiercely proud of.

If Tamaki was an only child, he mused, would his grandmother be more open to the idea of him?

No, he shook his head. Only child or not, he was born to his mother and that was enough for his grandmother to hate him. And he would never replace his mother for anything.

Nor would he replace his sister.

She may be their grandmother's pride, their father's little empress, Japan's darling prodigy, but—

_He opened the shoji doors._

_She looked up. Bright green eyes, long black hair and an exquisite face. Her smile made her image impossibly lovelier. She had always been happy to see him, always pleased to spend time with him._

_"Tamaki."_

_He smiled back._

_"Kimiko nee-san."_

—she was his sister. And only he could claim to be so.

* * *

**A/N:** Aaaand cut. I just wrote this overnight from 2-5 am. Why is it that inspiration comes to me when I'm sleep-deprived and hungry? Anyway, hope you like it and if not then it's a free country, frown all you want. And yes, Harry was reincarnated into a girl as Tamaki's older, legitimate sister if you didn't catch it.

Any questions? Suggestions? Review box is always open and empty? Fill it up. *wink*

Reviews are love. Reviews are life.

~Review~


	6. Commoner's Charm

A regular Haruhi attracted three out of six; Hikaru, Kaoru, Tamaki. A reincarnated Harry however, attracted all kinds of trouble and more.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OHSHC or Harry Potter. Just playing in Bisco and Rowling's sandbox.

**Author's Note: **Figured I'd get this done before I post my new story. Check it out, it's another HP/Ouran fanfic.

**Title: Commoner's Charm**

**Pairings: **Haruhi/?

**Part:** 1/2

**Warnings: **AU (of course)

* * *

Eight-year old Haruhi didn't care about gender differences. She didn't care about the fine line between ladies and gentlemen.

Not because she was a tomboy or anything. She accepted that she was female, that she had two X chromosomes instead of one X and Y. For her being a girl was just that. It was a fact. She was a girl just as she needed air to breathe and the sun shone and rise. Oh, she appreciated cute and pink things as much as the next little girl, but she never had much interest in them. Most people would find her weird but she had a perfectly legitimate reason for being so.

It was… well… because she had been most certainly a hundred percent _male_ in her past life.

Yes. Male. A man.

Strange thing to say, right?

But it was nothing but the truth. She guessed having a soul with a very aware male consciousness dumped into a female body erased any kind of feminine instincts she should have developed early in life. Her mind was permanently switched on 'boy mode'.

Harry Potter's 'boy mode' to be exact. Rift with flying broomsticks, dodgy prophecies, and one crying half-Asian witch mourning her dead boyfriend fancying the pants out of him.

So now she was a girl with a mindset of a boy. She pretty much adjusted to the idea that she was now a girl in this new life of hers, and that she should give a bit of effort to act like the fairer sex. She just rolled with it. As Harry Potter she went through a lot of shitty things. Being a girl wasn't even high on his weird list.

She should be glad she wasn't reincarnated as a slug. Or something just as odd.

It was probably some sort of glitch with her stint as Harry Potter, or maybe some leftover bits of magic with her run-in with the Deathly Hallows, but whatever the reason was, her father Ranka (also her part-time mother when he was in the mood) despaired that his only child preferred t-shirts and shorts to the frilly-looking dresses he would buy her.

"Come on, Haru-chan! Wear this for papa!"

"No is no."

"Why not, Haru-chan?!"

"…"

Of course Haruhi couldn't bloody well blurt out that there was a tea-sippin', treacle-tart lovin', Dark Lord vanquishing British bloke inside her body unless she wanted to be sent to the Japanese version of a loony bin, so she shut her trap while Ranka despaired over his genius yet utterly un-feminine daughter.

Still, Haruhi loved her dad, cross-dressing and all. Ranka was a doting father. Cheerful, funny, and utterly devoted to his only child who was the last link to his dear Kotoko. Haruhi relished in her papa's love and what was left of her mother's memories of warm hugs, soothing touches, and the smell of jasmine tea. It soothed her soul from the neglect she experienced from the Dursleys and the premature death of his godfather.

Ranka spent all of his free time with her and while her new body seemed a bit wary of touching, she sucked it up and took all the opportunity to hug him, making him happy with her smiles and cuddles. She wanted a close relationship with her new father. It was the least she could do whenever he came home bone-tired, exhausted to his feet, trying to make ends meet while Haruhi watched with helpless frustration. She was just a little girl and there was not much she could do to help.

* * *

"Haru-chan shouldn't worry too much."

"You have a fever, papa."

"Ahahaha! Just watch, Haru-chan! Tomorrow I'll be bursting with energy."

"…"

"Ah, Haru-chan! Don't cry!"

"…idiot papa."

They barely scraped by. Haruhi often watched as her Papa frowned at the jam jar by the tiny refrigerator containing all their earnings, carefully counting the meager bills and coins that would somehow support them. Her father would pat her head in the end and send her off to bed with a smile, saying that his baby girl shouldn't worry about it but Haruhi couldn't help it. Her papa was far from a slouch, and there were jobs that could pay well for him, but he absolutely refused to leave her alone for an eight to five job.

So Haruhi did all that she can to help. Housework was a cinch. She got a lot of practice at the Dursleys after all. Her petite body, even tinier than Harry had been at this age, made it a bit of a struggle but she got used to it.

She joined in every contest her school participated in. Quiz bees, spelling contests, math whizzes, she won them all. She took full advantage of her knowledge from her past life and mentally thanked Hermione, wherever she was, for nagging her to take a muggle degree in politics if only to shoo away the more insistent politicians who wanted a piece of Harry Potter. Hogwarts was brilliant and all but it served no application in the muggle world where Haruhi was now. She just thanked her lucky stars that she had a very forceful bushy-haired friend from her past life that all but commanded her to march her butt to college, even if she didn't appreciate it during that time.

It was also so very fortunate that her new self seemed to have developed a photographic memory. She drank in books, solved equations, participated in debates and soon enough, she became her school's star student, their representative. Even though she hated attention just like her previous life, Haruhi had no choice if she wanted to help her papa. If it took being gawked at and praised, then so be it.

She also refused to be all brains. Her body still had the instinct of Harry Potter, and it was frustrating that she couldn't maximize her potential since her new body was too short and small to respond to her disposition. So she trained her body as much as she could, remembering the exercise regime she had when working with Moody and Kingsley during the war. Just a watered-down version; she didn't want to kill herself. Every morning she marched down to the tiny clearing of their apartment complex to stretch and do laps around the small property.

Haruhi joined sport competitions, tennis and badminton, volleyball, soccer and the relay team. The money she earned from her winnings went to the jam jar by the tiny refrigerator and she nodded in satisfaction when it was stuffed full of paper bills. She even needed another jar so she cleaned the pickle bottle and crammed the remaining money there.

"Papa, no! Keep your hands away from the jar!"

"But Haru-chan! Papa wants to buy you a cake! You won first prize in the National Math Quiz!"

"Papa, no! That's for winter food money! Not cake!"

"…"

"Papa, are you crying? Don't cry."

"Haru-chan shouldn't be burdened. You should enjoy your life as a kid. I'm a bad parent. Your mama would have kicked me."

"Papa, no. It's not your fault. I want to help. I don't like seeing you so tired. And mama would understand. Stop being so sad, okay? The head okama at the tranny bar might get mad if you get another wrinkle."

A burst of laughter.

"Yeah, he would, wouldn't he? But Haru-chan, Papa got a big bonus too, alright? So it's really okay if we get you something nice. A cake or ice cream. Just to celebrate, ne?"

"…"

"Haru-chan?"

"Can we get fatty tuna instead?"

A chuckle.

"Of course, Haru-chan. Of course."

* * *

Eventually all her hard work paid out. A team of academic heads noticed her unusual genius and tested her in sixteen subjects, astonished when her scores ranked first throughout the country, exceptionally the highest of the high. Excited, they visited Ranka, wanting to pull her out of the public elementary school she was enrolled in and place her in a high-end private academy.

"I mean no offense but I… I would like to keep her with me at the moment. She's just so young, but she's so independent. I think I'd like to keep her as my little girl as long as I can. It's selfish, but…"

But Ranka wanted her here still. His beautiful, talented little daughter was so perfect, so understanding, that Ranka didn't know what he did in his life to be blessed with such an amazing little girl. Kotoko would have been so happy with their baby, and he was sure that if she had been alive she would be torn just like him, unsure between keeping her just a little longer or giving her the best opportunity of her life.

At least the board were understanding.

"Of course. I have a son her age. She might have difficulty adjusting, ne? If that is what you wish, we won't contest it. However, the offer still stands. Perhaps if she reaches middle school or high school you should reconsider." One of the ladies smiled.

"Yes, our Academy would be honored to have her as a student."

Ranka sighed in relief. "Thank you very much. I'll think about it."

Her public school refused to let Haruhi remain stagnant though. Ranka wanted her to remain in her current grade level instead of jumping her up a few years like her teachers wanted, insisting that Haruhi was already used to being by herself and she needed all the friends she could get. She couldn't do that if all her classmates were older than her and wouldn't take her seriously or get annoyed that someone younger than them was smarter. She would be isolated.

Their generous school head offered to give her tutorials instead, which was agreed upon by the rest. They got sponsors for Haruhi, who paid for her instructors in various subjects. She managed to charm them all (Haruhi's lessons on flattery and bullshitting from Draco finally paid off) and they were absolutely enthralled by the sweet yet quiet prodigy. Soon they didn't need to be paid, finding it a joy to tutor her, and Haruhi returned their generosity by giving out favors instead, such as tutoring children younger than her or playing the violin at parties for free.

Haruka continued to excel. Her national wins turned international, and it filled her with pride as she placed another picture frame of her and her father beaming from their latest trip to Singapore. A few pictures of them in Indonesia, Singapore, China, Hong Kong… They even went to Switzerland! It made her happy that she could compete out of the country with her father by the sidelines. She knew it was a secret dream of his to travel the world after finding a notebook filled with clippings of pictures of different cities. Now, he could at least visit some of the places he wanted to go.

* * *

A few more summers came and gone, and Haruhi was now fifteen. It was odd, really odd, to experience the other side of puberty. She freaked out when she got her first bleeding and it was embarrassing when all her father did was alternate between coddling her about 'Haru-chan growing up' and bawling his eyes out on how she was ready to leave the nest. Turns out his job at the tranny bar gave him more insight on the feminine physique ("We've got all sorts of customers, Haru-chan. Some of them are ladies drowning their sorrows.") and he had no problem buying her all her new needed necessities. He wasn't even embarrassed about it like any other dad. All he had to do was dress as a rather fetching woman and walk out the grocery store with no one the wiser.

Haruhi was also disturbed with her hips and chest. She wasn't sure that her waist should… curve that way, but it did lead to some appreciative glances from her male classmates. Thankfully they did nothing but give furtive looks, otherwise she could've introduced them to a world of pain.

Her breasts… thankfully weren't developed enough to scar her (she distinctly remembers going shirtless too many times in her previous life to be traumatized by the two new lumps at her chest) although her father mentioned that they would probably grow once she got older, that she was most likely a late bloomer like her mother, who had a full set on her.

That did not help her one bit.

And so, the springtime of youth entered young Haruhi's life.

Ranka sighed as he watched his daughter, who was diligently doing her homework. Reaching for the phone, he rang the number given to him years ago by the group of Directors who had been impressed with Haruhi's genius.

"Hello? Yes. This is Fujioka Ryuji. This is about my daughter."

"…"

"Yes, if the offer still stands. She'd like to accept the full scholarship to Ouran Academy."

* * *

"You're… You're a girl?!" a high, girly shriek echoed around the Third Music Room, coming from a red-faced blonde, a finger pointed at said girl in dismay.

"Biologically, yes." Haruhi said, fixing her tie. The boys were generous enough to lend her a girl's uniform, although she preferred pants to the hideously bright yellow cupcake thing she was now wearing. "I wasn't really that offended when you all thought I was a boy. Gender doesn't really matter to me, I guess." She paused, peeking at the smirking Ootori. "Although I think Kyoya-senpai already knew I was a girl from the start."

"Kyoya, how could you?!" Tamaki wailed at him. Kyouya just raised a brow.

"I have records on every student in Ouran, did you forget? It's not my fault you didn't even think of consulting me about her." Kyouya said. He then nodded at the only girl in the room. "Quite an impressive record you've got as well, Haruhi."

She blinked at the praise then gave him a polite nod. He must have her academic record. Not that it wasn't hard to get.

"Ohhh, really? What's on it?" Hani chirped from Mori's shoulder, urging his cousin to walk over to Kyoya.

"How come I'm the only one surprised that she's a girl?!" Tamaki addressed the room at large.

"Because we all figured it out along the way, dumbass. I mean, Milord." Kaoru said innocently.

"W-What?!"

"S'not our fault you're dense as a rock. Stop your banshee wailing, Milord. You'll break our eardrums." Hikaru said.

"Oh, wow Haru-chan! So smart!" Hani praised, peering into Kyoya's folder.

"Really? Let me see..."

"Nice. You really are a nerd."

"There's still the matter of your debt." Kyoya said, ignoring the wobbling Suoh behind him.

"Well, I don't really mind being a host as Tamaki-senpai said." Haruhi mused, smoothing her dress. The material used was exquisite. The color… not so much. "Everyone thinks I'm a guy already anyway. I was thinking of joining the Music club or the Math club, but there's nothing wrong with joining the Host club…"

Kyoya nodded, pleased she was willing to compromise. Tamaki just groaned in defeat.

"Listening to girly drabbles as a host isn't so bad either, it may be silly and shallow but surprisingly enjoyable. And it's an easier way to earn money than doing grunt work…"

The twins smirked, amused at how she talked about her fellow females while Hani laughed softly at her bluntness.

Haruhi squared her shoulders. "Well I guess if you'll have me, I'll be the new Host club member from this day forward." she said, bowing. "I look forward to working with you all."

"We look forward to it as well." Kyoya smiled slightly, the others nodding in delight (except for a fainting Tamaki whom they all ignored anyway).

Haruhi smiled back at them.

This wasn't so bad, after all.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Here we go. It's been sitting in my computer for months. I actually have the rest of the story, but it hasn't been polished yet. Might post it one of these days. Again, got a new HP/Ouran story up. *winks* Read and review, peeps.

Memory out.


	7. Breast Pocket

**.**

**Prompt by Tears of Hearts:** _may i suggest a variation of emerald empress please? where harry is reincarnated as tamaki and excel as much as haruhi in commoner's charm only more to impress his grandmother? you can make tamaki as a girl too..._

**.**

**.**

**Author's Note:** This… got weird fast. It's like an amalgamation of a few of my fics that I didn't know what to do with. But it wouldn't leave me, so I HAD to do it because a scene popped in my mind the moment I read the prompt. But quite frankly I don't know if I can make Emerald Empress a full-blown story, seeing as I somehow imagined Kimiko in girl!reincarnated!Tamaki's role. We'll see.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own OHSHC or Harry Potter.

.

**Title:** Breast Pocket (_title is as weird as story, but there's a reason behind it. See if you can catch it before it happens. *wink*)_

**Warnings:** Oneshot, AU world, future!fic, girl!Tamaki, reincarnated!Harry, drop-dead gorgeous Kyoya

**Pairing:** fem!Tamaki/Kyoya

**Part:** 1/1

.

* * *

"Isn't that the Ootori heir?"

"No, not heir, he was just named the head—"

"My, he's handsome…"

"I heard he just outdid his brothers—"

Ootori Kyoya ignored the sycophantic, gossiping women and continued to walk the length of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Tachibana and his security team by his side. The stares were getting heavier but didn't give in any mind and presented a platinum card at the uniformed attendant by the private elevators.

"Fiftieth floor." Kyoya said smoothly. The Ootori scion had hoped not to be overheard but a movement to his right made him pause and turn his head minutely. Frowning, he gestured to Tachibana to desist the secretary by the counter who had reached for her phone and was staring at him with great focus.

_No doubt to call reporters for spare cash…_

His head of security nodded, silently ordering two of his guards to 'convince' the young lady not to make the undoubtedly call for the press.

The young attendant by the elevator looked startled, probably because the floor Kyoya was asking was a private residential floor but Kyoya didn't have time for incompetence and narrowed his sable eyes. It seemed to have spurred the nervous attendant and he inspected the card faster, making an intercom call in his haste.

"U-um… The 50th floor suite in the name of Suoh, all clear sir."

"Thank you." Kyoya said shortly as the elevators opened.

The ride up was long and he struggled not to show his impatience, but the knowing look on Tachibana's face hinted that he wasn't doing a good job of it. Kyoya hummed, distractedly touching the breast pocket of his suit. The moment the elevator doors opened, Kyoya's eyes softened minutely at the sound of piano playing.

_Angry_ piano playing.

"She's… not very happy, boss." Tachibana said with hesitance over the tornado of music. He sounded wary.

And with good reason. The female in question had an impressive temper.

"Just stay at the receiving area." Kyoya ordered, leaving his security behind.

The twenty-three year old made his way through the extravagant suite and stood right behind the figure playing the frustrated, jagged melody using an impressive ivory piano. Kyoya's lips twitched upwards when she didn't show any visible reaction to his presence aside from a minute jerk of her shoulders, even though Kyoya knew that Tamaki was well aware he was behind her.

"Shostakovitch?" Kyoya asked softly when the music subsided to less finger-slamming and more of a gentle caress of the black and white keys. _Nocturne_ by Chopin. "I didn't know you favored violent pieces."

"He had a reason to be pissed," was her answer. She sounded far more relaxed than her playing implied. "And so do I."

Kyoya hummed, his hands making its way to her stiff shoulders. He kneaded them gently, smile lifting when he felt her loosen. He used to do this before, when they were back in school, back in the Host Club. Not many knew her beyond her cheerful façade but Tamaki was one of the most stressed-out individuals Kyoya had ever met, and it was because of her that he learned to relax once in a while.

"Anne-Renée Tamaki Rachelle de Grantine Suoh," he said out loud when Shostakovitch began playing again. "If you're going to sulk, do not abuse the poor piano."

She paused just as he intended and turned to face him with clear violet eyes.

The years have been extremely generous to Tamaki. Her French features have further accentuated her appearance, blending exquisitely with her father's naturally striking looks. The beautiful Suoh heiress had grown up to be a far more attractive woman, a rose in full bloom. No longer was she a young lady on the cusp of adulthood but a grown woman any man would dedicate sonnets to.

Kyoya smirked. He sounded twitter-patted.

"You've let your hair grow," she said in surprise, twisting behind Kyoya to touch the raven strands pulled low and tied neatly behind his back.

He humored her, stroking her golden curls in turn. "And you've left your hair alone."

She snorted, tugging his hair playfully and declared in a pompous tone. "I'm adult now."

During their school days Tamaki had been fond of experimenting with her hair, dyeing it in all shades. Raven black was her favorite, with mahogany brown coming a close second when the Tonnerre heiress was unsurprisingly pulled into Tamaki's natural charm and had given her tips on how to take care of her hair. She coupled it with colored contact lenses whenever they did cosplay in the Host club, and Tamaki used green lenses more times than he could count. With her light eyes and lighter hair, it was easy for her to switch hues. The twins had such a fun time dolling her up.

"It's strange not to see a black-haired, green-eyed version of you," Kyoya said idly. "What?"

A funny look crossed Tamaki's face at his words, one that was gone just as quickly as it came. Had it been any other person, they would've missed it. But Kyoya knew Tamaki just as much as she knew him like the back of her hand and his comment had affected her somewhat.

"Nothing," she said in a sweet tone that meant it had definitely been something. "Tea?"

Kyoya let himself be led to the sitting room where a dutiful maid poured out a pot of fresh jasmine and laid out a batch of sweets. Tamaki looked distracted, her gaze on the darkening Tokyo skyline where yellow dotted lights started to appear on the buildings and streets.

He took a while to observe her by the rim of his glasses. Tamaki looked refined, every inch the high-bred heiress. Her pale shimmering golden hair was twisted in a sophisticated-looking knot and she was wearing a full set of diamond jewelry, sparkling on her elfin ears, neck, and wrist. Her dress was a dark shade of blue, almost black, and it contrasted her pale skin wonderfully.

She looked so different from the adventurous, energetic girl he knew. This restricted edge of sophistication didn't suit her much.

"I'm offended that my sole attention doesn't seem to interest you," Kyoya purred, smirking when she shot him an annoyed glance, cheeks pink.

"Don't pull out your hosting moves on me." Tamaki grumped, folding her arms over her full chest. Kyoya was determined not to let his eyes wander.

"I'm not." he replied. A change of topic was in order and Kyoya tilted his teacup, inspecting the superior design. "This is a Royal Albert set? If I'm not mistaken."

A smile bloomed on her lips. "Yes. Toru just had it shipped out this week after he gained enough contacts in Europe."

"Toru. Suzushima Toru?" Kyoya's brows lifted in surprise, remembering the bland, unremarkable boy who was fiancé to Kasugazaki Kanako, their 'host-hopping' client. "I see. You've kept in contact with him then."

"Him and Kanako-chan. They're married, you know." She abruptly coughed, looking away. "They asked me to be godmother to their first baby."

Kyoya made a sound of approval. Being made a godparent was an honor and showed how well-connected you are to the parents. Not to mention that you'd have an influence with the next generation through the child.

As if she was reading his mind, Tamaki rolled her eyes. "Not for your stone-cold reasons, you arse. I genuinely like spending time with them."

The Ootori head shrugged elegantly. "You get both, that's what matters."

"You're incorrigible."

"And that surprises you, why?"

"Touché."

The silence after was comfortable and Kyoya leaned in his seat. He knew Tamaki was inspecting his physique, looking at the differences and similarities after a year of not seeing each other personally. He heard her snort and Kyoya smirked. He could hear her calling him conceited inside her head but she would give credit where credit is due.

He matured into the most attractive out of the three Ootori brother after all. And Tamaki didn't drag him over to create the Host club because of his skills in business alone, she knew how striking he looked like to the masses. And Kyoya was confident enough to say that he had no shortage of women who wanted to throw themselves at his feet and bed ever since hitting puberty.

"Still tall, dark and handsome Kyoya." Tamaki taunted, looking at his immaculately suited body. "Although still as frigid, if rumors are to be believed."

"Those rumors would be true enough," Kyoya dropped his teacup back in its saucer, looking at Tamaki intently. "Because I have a lot on my plate recently. Which brings us to the topic on why you requested a meeting tonight. Instead of calling like you usually do."

Tamaki stared at him and let out a shuddering breath, tugging her hair in agitation.

"I think you have an idea why."

He did.

Suoh Tamaki, only child and daughter of the Suoh patriarch after he refused to marry or have any more offspring by other women. The fact that Tamaki was a girl created noise more than anything else because it sparked a heated debate over the supposed inheritance of the coveted business empire. Especially when Tamaki's frigid grandmother, the real head of the Suoh family, finally warmed up and acknowledged her granddaughter after a number of grueling trials, harsh criticisms, and difficult challenges on Tamaki's part. The heartfelt discussion Suoh Shizue had with Tamaki after Haruhi awakened the elder's softer side also helped them get to know each other better.

But Tamaki's problems were only beginning.

Kyoya's hand ghosted over his breast pocket again before he dropped it to his side. He gave her a detached smile. "I do. Humor me anyway."

"Arse," she bit out with no real heat. "Right… It's… Well… How can I say this… Oh, bloody hell…"

He patiently waited for her to stop flailing, and after a few minutes she took a deep breath and looked him squarely in the eye.

"The board," she said. "My father's board is making me take over the company in one condition. It's something that my grandmother unfortunately agreed on so I have no leeway at all." She hesitated. "You know how I never wanted to be head of my family, Kyoya. You knew… I told you before."

"I remember." He nodded once. It had infuriated Kyoya before, how someone like Tamaki who was at the edge of power and wealth didn't want it at all. How she, with no siblings to compete with, could take one look at all the riches the Suoh had to offer and turn her back on it so easily.

But now he understood better.

"I still don't want it," she bit her lip. "But I have no choice. If I don't take it then all those people depending on my family might lose their jobs because the next candidate after me is a distant relation, and my father doesn't like his methods at all. I don't want to jeopardize thousands of employees just because of one condition the board placed on my shoulders. I don't want to imagine how they'd go home and face their families jobless."

Unbidden, a smile grew on Kyoya's face. She was still Tamaki, still worried for others before herself.

"So… I accepted." Tamaki gave him a furtive glance and crossed her arms. Her face was now a brilliant red. "And… the condition…"

She trailed off and Kyoya prompted with a raised brow. "The condition?"

"You're really making me say it." she deadpanned. Her cheeks were sadly returning to their normal color.

"I am."

"Bastard," she sighed, downing her cooling cup of tea and stared at him intently. "They want me to marry and have a child by twenty-five. And you're at the top of the list for my baby daddies."

Silence. Tamaki blew out a breath.

"That was succinct." Kyoya said with a crooked smirk.

"That's all you have to say?"

"Well I couldn't say I was surprised. The whole world is waiting with bated breath on how the Suoh drama is uncovering."

Tamaki grimaced at the truth in his words and looked away. "So now you know—"

Kyoya squared his shoulders and reached forward, angling her face towards him. She was too shocked to react when gently, _very gently_, he pressed her lips to his, caressing her mouth with the softest of pressure. He kept still for a moment before he felt her soften, returning the kiss by inching her mouth forward. Spurred on, Kyoya coaxed her lips to part, licking her tongue gently, and it was warm and deep and tasted like tea and the treacle sweets she was so fond of…

He didn't know how long he kissed her, taking several short breaths of air before going back for more, kissing her again and again, growing deeper and more desperate by the minute. He finally pulled away when her grip on his arm became painful, and she gasped for breath, shuddering.

"What was that?" she blurted out, looking more than a little panicked. Her lips were properly swollen and she looked thoroughly debauched, much to his satisfaction.

"That was a kiss, Tamaki. Look it up." Kyoya said roughly, taking his seat back. He touched his chest… still there…

"That wasn't a kiss! You were full-out molesting my mouth!"

He snorted at her description.

"Why did you kiss me?!" she squawked, flailing her hands.

"To check the health of your gums," he answered with much sarcasm, smirking when she squawked again in offense, hitting his arm. "No, really. Figure it out, Tamaki."

Although she didn't get it before and he doubt that she'll get it now.

The thing on his breast pocket might just have to be returned to the store. But it was custom cut so he doubt they'll accept it back—

"Kyoya."

He looked at her. She looked dumbstruck, as if a bolt of lightning just hit her.

"What?"

"Are you… _proposing_?" she said the word as if it was something out of her vocabulary, tinged with a high note of disbelief.

"What do you think?" The Ootori said blandly, crossing his legs and looking at her expectantly.

Her cheeks were back to its rosy color. "I asked you!"

He snorted and looked away. "Yes."

"Kyoya you—" Tamaki did a double-take at his answer. She looked ready to faint. "_What_?"

"I am proposing, you utterly silly girl."

She looked infuriated. "I'm not silly! And what do you mean you're proposing?! Are you joking?"

"Aren't you the one who needs a husband?" Kyoya pointed out exasperatedly.

Honestly, why he fell in love with the girl was a question Kyoya wanted a clear answer for until this day.

He supposed, wealth and prestige aside, it had something to do with Tamaki's completely mystifying charm. The same charm that had convinced Kyoya to start a host club with a girl who was not only the Suoh heiress but the only daughter of the School Chairman, who had always looked like he wanted to cut him down to pieces when he saw him with his daughter. The same charm that had transformed a surly, gloomy, third year Black Magic club president into a shy, sincere, princely-type host who looked bewildered at being surrounded by girls half of the time.

The same mystifying charm that had managed to create a surreal yet genuine family out of a ragtag group of rich kids, that had coaxed an awkward scholarship student out of her shell, that had turned the lives of the Hitachiin twins upside down and convinced both Haninozuka and Morinozuka cousins to be more like themselves.

The same mystifying charm that had enraptured Kyoya from the very beginning and had been very obvious to everyone around them except for the girl in question.

Kyoya had tried to make his intentions clear ever since their second year, but the little brat had to skip a year ahead and make it harder for him to be by her side. It had taken a serious discussion with Hani-senpai to make him realize that he had to let her go on her own, to let Tamaki experience the world by herself without Kyoya tying him down. He had backed off with much reluctance.

That didn't mean he didn't stake his claim early. That was just bad prioritizing skills, and Tamaki had always been Kyoya's priority ever since he met her. He braved Suoh Yuzuru and point blank asked for his daughter's future hand in marriage. The Suoh patriarch gave him a deadened stare that made Kyoya feel like the hounds of the underworld were growling at his face before he was calmly asked about his intentions towards the princess of their clan.

Kyoya answered honestly. Partly because he felt that he would be gnawed to bits if he was even a bit insincere, but in the end the Chairman had been satisfied with his answer, that it wasn't Tamaki's net worth he was after but her frustratingly bleeding heart and giant hero-complex that had endeared her to him in the first place.

And now all Kyoya needed to do was to convince the girl herself.

It wasn't going very well at all.

"Are you saying you kissed me just because I need a husband?!" her voice was reaching glass-breaking decibels.

No, he kissed her because Kyoya had fallen in love with her years ago for some masochistic reason. Because obviously, letting her go willingly showed that he liked the pain he felt from their distance.

Note the sarcasm.

"Tamaki, I wouldn't kiss you for that reason alone." Kyoya said exasperatedly.

"Then why?" she gripped his suit and Kyoya had to answer before she turned rabid or the thing in his breast pocket fell out completely and he didn't know what was worse.

"Because I love you, you dolt."

She faltered with wide eyes, breath hitching. She backed away but Kyoya immediately caged her in his arms.

"Stop— stop insulting me."

"Oh, so you noticed that but not that I said I love you?" Kyoya retorted because heaven knows that this girl loved him too. And that wasn't his arrogance talking but the fact that _he_ was the one she dragged all over the place with since their school days, _he_ was the one she babbled to incessantly to about any topic from midnight to dawn, and it was _his_ shoulder she cried on when she graduated early and was sobbing about leaving _him_ behind, and it was Kyoya who Tamaki had confessed to in a drunken stupor during her graduation party at the Suoh main mansion.

"_Y'know what Kyoya? You're such an arse, but I love you anyway. And not in the friend kinda way either, more like the kissy stuff Neko and Haru do, y'know?"_

She then proceeded to babble about flying broomsticks, treacle tarts and snowy owls in British English and had ended up snoring in a marble balustrade.

Not a very glowing recommendation but Kyoya had taken her drunken ramblings to heart and by the very next day, he was in front of Suoh Yuzuru asking for permission to court her.

"You… you love me." Tamaki repeated, stunned.

"Yes."

"You want to marry me. Really marry me."

"Yes and yes."

"But… you don't have a ring."

Kyoya rolled his eyes at her. "You're just being difficult now, Tamaki."

"I am and I don't care," she said petulantly. "You want to marry me but you don't have a ring. So there."

They stared at each other for a few seconds before the young head of the Ootori shrugged.

"Well, I suppose if I'm doing this I might as well do it the right way," Kyoya sighed, ignoring the way Tamaki's eyes widened as he pulled the velvet black box out of his breast pocket and knelt in front of her in one swift movement.

"Suoh Tamaki, you infuriating, exasperating woman. Despite all the headaches you'll cause me and the amount of times you'll hit me on the head for one reason or the other, it would still be the greatest honor of my life if you agree to be my wife."

He opened the tiny box to reveal a glittering emerald ring, the shade of green she loved so much embedded with tiny diamonds around it. It sat on a platinum band and took months to commission because Kyoya wouldn't accept another shade of emerald nor did he settle for less than the best quality.

"You," Tamaki's voice was breathless with choking emotions, staring at both him and the ring. "You planned this didn't you."

A statement, not a question.

Finally she was getting it.

She laughed, eyes bright as she realized it all. "My father, he was pressuring me to make a list—I though he looked funny. My grandmother kept giving me these sideline glances. Hell, I told Haruhi my problem but she didn't look the least bit worried—"

"We can discuss my whole devious plot to trap you into marriage after you give your answer, can't we?" Kyoya pointed out, still kneeling. "Or I can stay here and get cramps."

"Arse!" she laughed, but there were tears in her eyes. "I'd been so nervous thinking about how to approach you… and of course you were the only person I'd consider marrying."

"That's a yes, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Kyoya." Tamaki said, kneeling in front of him. "I love you too. Of course that was a yes."

He smiled triumphantly and bent down to kiss her deeply, urged on by the interesting noises she made when he touched her. She pulled away with narrowed eyes and held his face back.

"Although you're going to have a lot of explaining to do." Tamaki pursed her lips, pulling both of them up, much to his displeasure. "Let's start with how many people knew and how many of them are most likely laughing behind my back by now."

Kyoya managed to look mockingly thoughtful. "For your first question, that would be… I don't know, does the whole world count? Oh wait, it doesn't since you're not included in the know-how." She slapped his chest. "For your second question, the whole school I'd gather. Your little manager apprentice let it slip."

Tamaki groaned. "Damn it, Renge. I'm going to be in a whole lot of teasing, aren't I?"

Kyoya pulled her in an embrace, deftly slipping the platinum ring in her finger, a dark part of him purring in approval at his mark of possession on her. He pressed his lips to her temple. "All that and more. But don't worry, I'll protect you from the nosy hoard, tou-san."

Tamaki snorted at the familiar nickname, kissing his cheek. "I'll hold onto that promise, kaa-san." Then she mumbled. "Although how I fell for someone with an attitude like _Malfoy_ of all people…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing."

* * *

.

**Author's Note:** So where did you get the clue that Kyoya's going to propose? At the beginning or right when he dropped to his knees? Haha, devious Kyoya, planning out even his own marriage proposal to the end. But I think he, the opportunistic shark that he is, would see the extreme benefits of falling in love with Tamaki had she been a girl in canon. Here, Kyoya falls in love with Harry!Tamaki because of her down-to-earth yet noble attitude, a more appealing factor than the money she brings.

So tell me how weird it this because I definitely found it weird. But I also enjoyed writing it for some reason. Maybe the reason it was strange is because I kept imagining a whole lot of my reincarnated Harry's in it, lol. Read and review.

Memory out.


End file.
